


reveal me

by forshaonan



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Childhood Friends, Dirty Jokes, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, M/M, Moving On, Pining, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:08:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28045977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forshaonan/pseuds/forshaonan
Summary: Sunwoo, Youngjae, and Hyunjae have been best friends for years since childhood. They never hide any secrets from each other, but one thing. Both Sunwoo and Hyunjae have a crush on Youngjae. They don't make a move yet, until Juyeon appears between them and triggers both their wolf and human.
Relationships: Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Sunwoo, Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Juyeon & Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 15
Kudos: 71





	1. perhaps love

**Author's Note:**

> i adopt the abo concept from a webtoon tittled "our omega leadernim!" by mijin. of course it's improvisated with mine.
> 
> so, enjoy!

Sunwoo jerks, barely jumps off his chair, when someone bumps onto him, back-hugging him. On reflex, he curses. He turns his head a bit, then rolls his eyes and sighs when he sees the person. He pushes the other’s hands aside, escaping from the hug. “Shit, Youngjae! Stop it! You surprised me.”

Youngjae, the called one, just giggles as he withdraws himself. Sunwoo takes his headset off and puts it beside the keyboard, then turning his chair around, facing Youngjae. Youngjae walks to the bed beside the desk and sits on the edge. He appoints his index towards the PC. “You were focusing.”

“You can just call me. I can still hear you.”

Youngjae shrugs. “I doubt it. You didn’t even realize I was coming in.”

Sunwoo forces a smile, then raises his eyebrows. “I was focusing.”

“See?”

Sunwoo tsks, admitting it silently. “Whatever. I’ll spare you just once.” He turns around again and puts his headset on again, continuing his work.

Youngjae giggles, then purrs out of his consciousness. “I just wanna hug you.” he mutters, supposing Sunwoo couldn’t hear him. He lies down, crossing his arms behind his head as a pillow. “What are you doing?” he asks a bit louder.

Although Sunwoo’s wearing headset, he can still hear Youngjae quite vaguely. “Music.” he answers shortly without taking his eyes off the screen. Hands are working on the keyboard and mouse.

After that, they remain silent, busy with each their world. Sunwoo is working on his music, meanwhile Youngjae is contemplating about anything that comes in his mind. Actually, Youngjae wants to disturb and play around with Sunwoo, as usual. But, Sunwoo is too focusing on his work since he entered the dorm. This is a bit unusual of Sunwoo as he always noticed every sound, even when he was using headset and working on his project. That means this project is so important for him. Youngjae feels glad, though. He’s glad Sunwoo finally gets an important role in a big event. The event is coming in about two months, yet–

“This time, Hyunjae will bring the dinner, right?”

Youngjae blinks, then raises his head a bit and looks at Sunwoo. The latter is still staring at the screen. Youngjae hums a ‘yes’.

“Hope it’s not burgers again.”

Youngjae chuckles at Sunwoo’s words. He remembers Hyunjae brought burgers for their late dinner few days ago. “He wouldn’t, I guess?”

There’s no answer. Youngjae can spot Sunwoo’s knitted eyebrows from the side. He’s focusing back again. So, Youngjae takes his phone out of his jeans pocket and surfs the net there.

Not so long after that, he hears the sound of door opening. He looks up at the door to check the person. He sits up right away when he recognizes the person is Hyunjae, someone they’re waiting for. “What do you bring?”

Hyunjae puts the plastic bags onto the small counter beside the sink after closing the door, then takes his slippers off. “Kimchi fried rice.” He walks in, noticing Sunwoo who seems unbothered as he’s still focusing on PC. He looks at Youngjae, raises his eyebrows. “What’s he doing?”

“Music.” Youngjae stands, then smacks Sunwoo’s thigh, causing the latter startled. “Hyunjae’s here. Let’s eat!”

Sunwoo hisses long, turning his head around to check Hyunjae. He takes the headset off. “I’ve said don’t do that!” he nags with his slightly raised voice, then gets up. “What do you bring?” he asks to Hyunjae, walking to the mini counter at the front hallway.

“Kimchi fried rice. Oh, I also bring soda. It’s in another bag.” Hyunjae walks to Sunwoo’s side, helping him take the meals out. Youngjae follows by. For a minute, they’re busy plating the meals.

Sunwoo finishes first, so he walks in with his own meals. He sits down and crosses his legs as he turns the television on after putting his meals on the low table, followed by Youngjae and Hyunjae on both his sides. For a while, there is a comfortable silence as they’re focusing at their late dinner and a TV show they’re watching.

“So, what happened today? Tell me!” Hyunjae opens first when the ads show out, leaning backwards the bed.

Youngjae mumbles as he tries to speak first, yet his mouth is full with foods. Seeing him, Hyunjae giggles. “Finish up first!” His hand passes by Sunwoo’s back to pat Youngjae’s shoulder.

“I won a match today!” Youngjae states briefly after swallowing his foods. A blissful wide smile that shows his tooth drew on his face. “The coach even said that I’ve improved a lot, although I’m already skilled enough. He thought my skill was already at the limit. I don’t know limit, though.” He shrugs at the last sentence.

Sunwoo hums, “Good for you.”

Hyunjae smiles a bit, feels proud of Youngjae. “Guess baseball is your heart.”

Youngjae straightens his torso, clapping his chest. A smirk showed off on his face. “I know, that’s why I’m still doing it.”

“As expected from a true ace member.” Sunwoo says abruptly, leaning his back against the bed so he can have a better look of the others.

“Oh! I have another good news!” Youngjae pauses, shifting his legs and body so he’s facing them. “I finally got to know Juyeon! No, I mean, _we_ got to know each other! We talked a bit and I got his number.”

Hyunjae and Sunwoo stop when they hear the name. Their body tensed up. The smile on Hyunjae’s face faded. They share eye contact for a second, then gulp, starting to feel quite disturbed. They know Juyeon. Everybody knows. There’s no way anyone doesn’t know him. He is very popular among the students as the university basketball team’s captain and ace member. However, there’s something else about him that bothers them.

“I’m no longer a fan, but a _friend_ of him!” He raises his soda, grinning wide until his eyes almost gone. “Cheers!”

The other people in front of him stay still, a bit hesitant. Once again, they stare at each other, now a bit longer. Without saying anything, they can read each their mind.

Seeing them, Youngjae frowns. “Why? Come on, cheers!” he whines, lifting his soda higher.

Hyunjae sighs, grabbing and raising his soda, followed by Sunwoo. Youngjae smiles again, clanking their soda. “Cheers!”

After they drink, Hyunjae decides to speak up in behalf of both of him and Sunwoo, “Can’t you just stay as his fan?”

Youngjae’s eyebrows met, he stares at Hyunjae. “Why?”

“Isn’t he an alpha?”

Youngjae nods. “A true alpha.” he adds.

Hyunjae looks at Sunwoo, hinting him to do something. Sunwoo sighs, putting his soda. “It’s a bit dangerous, Youngjae.”

“Nope, he isn’t. Sure, he is a true alpha, but he’s nice! You’ll know when you see him later.”

Sunwoo brushes his brownish hair back, inhaling a deep breath. “We’ve talked about it before! He doesn’t have any relation with us. You might see him as a nice person, but we don’t know his wolf, his inner. We don’t know how he is when he’s in rut, or at least in his wolf by blackout.”

At this point, they ignore the TV show that already come back after the ads. The air around them heated up slightly.

Youngjae stabs his rice with his spoon several times, looking down at his meal. “I thought it’s fine if I have friends besides you.” he mutters.

“When did I forbid you? It’s you who break our promise!”

Hyunjae squeezes Sunwoo’s thigh, trying to comfort him. Then, he shakes his head when the latter’s attention is on him. He looks at Youngjae. “It’s okay, Youngjae. You can make friends outside us. You _really_ can. It’s just–“ He pauses, humming as he tries to sorting the words in his mind. “Nevermind. Just be careful!”

Youngjae smiles wide, purring at Hyunjae’s words. “Don’t worry! I can protect myself. Also, I have both of you, my alphas.” He nudges his head towards Sunwoo’s neck and pulls Hyunjae a bit, semi-hugging them.

Sunwoo pushes Youngjae off him. “Still, you need to be aware! We can’t protect you all the time.” he reminds with his serious tone.

Youngjae giggles, nodding his head several times. “I will, I will!”

“It’s your time, Sunwoo. Tell me!” Hyunjae commands Sunwoo, attempting to change the subject before the air raised up more.

By that, Sunwoo tells them about his day, more like his club’s collaboration project. While hearing his story, they continue watching the TV show and eating their meals. Sometimes, they tease each other and laugh together. Time doesn’t feel too long until they notice the night is getting too late. They’ve finished their dinner earlier.

Sunwoo gets up to lie down on the bed, meanwhile Hyunjae and Youngjae prepare to do rock-paper-scissors to determine who’s cleaning the dishes. It’s their routine – more like a deal, that the guest must clean up the dishes. Youngjae loses with his rock against Hyunjae’s paper after some draw rounds. Hyunjae jumps and screams in joyous, then sits down beside Sunwoo after pushing his legs aside. They mock and laugh at him together, leaving Youngjae who stays still in despair. He cleans it, at the end, meanwhile they are busy with their phone.

After Youngjae cleans the dishes, he and Hyunjae get ready to go home.

“Can’t I sleep here?” Youngjae begs as they step out of Sunwoo’s dorm. As Sunwoo shakes his head, Youngjae pouts. “Please?”

Sunwoo shakes his head again. “I’m gonna work. Next time.”

Youngjae looks at Hyunjae. But, before he could say a thing, Hyunjae cuts off clearly, “I can’t.”

Youngjae sighs a bit loud and rolls his eyes. “Fine. I’ll just wrap myself with layers of blanket.” His nose frowned a bit. “G’night!” He turns his body and walks away without giving them time to greet him back.

After he’s gone at the stairs to the lower floor – his dorm is a floor down from Sunwoo’s dorm, Hyunjae giggles. “Why is he so dramatic?”

Sunwoo giggles. He kind of questions it too. It’s spring, yet it isn’t that cold. Also, they’re werewolf, modern werewolf. Their body are designed to have warm blood, which means they would unconsciously set their body temperature internally.

He leans his shoulder to the door frame. “Still working on your thesis?” he asks, trying to figure out Hyunjae’s excuse to reject Youngjae’s plea.

Hyunjae groans, then nods. “Not just that, my room is such a mess.” His hands ruffles his already messy black curly hair. “Ah, it’s been a year since then. I must graduate this term.” he talks to himself.

Sunwoo chuckles, patting Hyunjae’s shoulder. “Yeah, you should, so you can help me.”

Hyunjae throws a sympathetic gaze at Sunwoo. “Be alert and watch out them, but don’t be rash. I know we’re triggered enough with that guy, but you’re more triggered than me.” He takes Sunwoo’s hand from his shoulder and wraps it into his hands, sharing his warmth. “Sorry I can’t be at campus. I’m in my dorm, you can come over anytime.”

Sunwoo pulls his hands, cringing at Hyunjae’s words. “What’s up with you?” They chuckle. “No worries. I will.”

Hyunjae waves his hand, saying good night to the younger. Sunwoo waves and greet him back before he walks away to the lift at the end of the hallway. Without waiting for him to enter the lift, Sunwoo closes the door and walks in. He lies down on the bed, looking up at the ceilings.

The cold air surrounds him. He hates it. He hates the feeling of emptiness in this small room. It’s a luck that he brought a television to his dorm, so they would always hang out in his dorm since he and Youngjae went to college a year ago, because those two other people didn’t bring it. Still, he hates it. He wonders how could Hyunjae bear the feeling for three years – although he always went home every break he got back then, or maybe he has some werewolf friends here so he wasn’t lonely.

He hates it, especially because he has a time to unintentionally think back about his life, and Hyunjae’s words. It’s true that he’s triggered as he’s also a true alpha. _He_ and his wolf. Hyunjae’s right. Naturally, they would feel threatened when their pack member, either beta or omega – in their case is a beta, gets close to another alpha who doesn’t have any relation with them, as alphas. But, Sunwoo is more likely to be affected, since he is a true alpha. He acknowledges it. He also acknowledges his human is triggered as well, albeit Hyunjae perhaps doesn’t know it.

He might have to make a move sooner, if he doesn’t want to lose what he wants.

He sighs deeply, getting up to really work on his music for his club’s collaboration project. Hope he could get rid his minds while working tonight.

Sunwoo looks up when he hears the door creaked open, then smiles a little at Changmin at the door.

“Huh? You’re early.” Changmin teases, walking towards the corner where Sunwoo is sitting. Then, he sits next to Sunwoo.

Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “I just came.”

A small laugh came out from Changmin’s mouth. He looks around, then frowns his eyebrows and hisses in his low voice. “As always, everyone isn’t here yet.”

“It’s not the time yet, though.” Sunwoo looks at his laptop on his lap.

Changmin stares at their reflection through the mirror in front of him. There, he sees the sight of Sunwoo focusing at his laptop. “I mean, this is a big event. I just want everyone to be serious with this project, so I would–“

“So you wouldn’t transform to your wolf unconsciously?”

“No. Hey, don’t say it loud!” He slaps Sunwoo’s arm. “Anyone can hear you!”

“There’s no one else but us, though.” Sunwoo takes a look around for a second before gazes at Changmin.

Changmin shakes his head with his mouth opened. “Still.” He glances at the door. It’s still closed, and he can hear nothing outside. “No, I mean, so I would have enough times to focus on my thesis.”

Changmin’s words reminded Sunwoo that he’s younger than Changmin. He occasionally forget it as the other is still active in his club, even joining their clubs’ collaboration project – and that’s a big event. He raises his eyebrows. “I’m curious. Then, why are you doing this if you wanna focus on your thesis?”

Changmin doesn’t answer for a moment, he just stares at their reflection. Then, he shrugs and looks down at his lap. “Just because. I promised it’ll be my last project during my college year.”

“To whom?”

Changmin looks back at Sunwoo. His eyebrows raised. “No one.” He laughs, turning his face forwards.

Although he doesn’t say that, Sunwoo could sense he’s lying. Earlier, when he was staring at the mirror, his gaze seemed blank. It’s like he was dragged back by force. Sunwoo looks at his laptop, decided to not ask questions anymore no matter how curious he is. “I’ve done the music. It’s still a demo. Listen to it.” His fingers are busy moving and pressing on the touchpad.

Before he presses the play button, his arm is held by Changmin. “Don’t! Play it when everyone are here.”

Sunwoo tilts his head aside and raises his right eyebrow. “I want you to be the first, so you can get any idea for the choreo.”

Changmin remains silent for a while, his eyebrows frowned. Then, he sighs quietly, shrugs, and withdraws his arm. “Sure.” He nods at the laptop, giving the permission for Sunwoo.

With that, Sunwoo smiles faintly. He finally presses the play button. The slow piano sounds begin to fill the studio, causing Changmin to smile softly. Shortly afterwards, the deep synth bass sounds, the ringing sounds of electric guitar, and the rattling sounds of drum accompany it one by one. The beat starts to rise up slowly yet precisely. Changmin’s lips tips raised up more, showing his right dimple. His head is banging slightly along with the beat, jamming to the music. Sunwoo grows another smile by seeing the other enjoying his demo. The beat steadily goes faster until near the end. Then, the drum sounds are gone, and the bass and the electric guitar sounds come slower, harmonizing with one another.

When the music really ends, Changmin stays still for few seconds. “It feels like it’s my story.” he mumbles unconsciously.

“Huh?”

Changmin blinks and looks up by reflex. “Uh? Oh, nothing.” He smiles wide and claps his hands. “It’s nice. Well, it’s a bit bland. Maybe, add some other instruments. But, overall, it’s enough. I’ve got an idea.” He raises his thumbs.

Sunwoo hums and nods. “I was originally gonna compose something that suit with the end of spring. But, thanks. I’ll consider it.” He types Changmin’s advice to a note in the laptop.

“I hope everyone likes it.” A long sigh comes out from Changmin’s mouth.

When Youngjae said he’s getting closer with Juyeon, Sunwoo thought it’s only when they’re practicing together – their club fields are near to each other. So, when he sees them eating together with some other people that he doesn’t know on another table at campus canteen, he freezes. Youngjae doesn’t see him. He’s laughing widely with those people. With his sharp smell, Sunwoo can immediately tell if those people aren’t pure human. They’re the same with him. More than that, Sunwoo can tell from Juyeon’s appearance that he looks nice, just as Youngjae said. It triggers his pride. He grits his tooth and clenches his fist under the table. Then, he looks away and closes his eyes for a second to take a deep breath and calm himself.

While struggling to keep his consciousness up, he continues eating his lunch without talking anymore, not bothering his friends’ conversation. Luckily, his friends don’t notice him, too focused on debating about something, probably about their assignment.

Sunwoo gets up after drinking water, taking people on his table’s attention on him. He grabs his backpack and swings it onto his shoulder. “I’m leaving. Bye."

“Oh, wait! Pay it!” A friend holds his arm.

He tips his chin next to the empty dishes. There’s some cashes. He pulls his arm off the hold, then greets once again, “See ya!” Without further ado, he leaves the canteen and the sight of Youngjae laughing with Juyeon.

As he walks away, he’s unfazed by the crowds and easily passes through. Because the place that comes first in his mind is dance club studio, he instinctively goes there. He needs some space away from everyone to pull himself together.

However, when he pushes the studio’s door, he notices someone practicing inside. When he smells a familiar scent, pine tree mixed with chamomile, and sees a familiar silhouette, he recognized that the person is Changmin. Feeling relieved, he comes in, then lies down on the edge after throwing his backpack anywhere. His coming causes Changmin to pause his activity. He turns around, then tilts his head, glaring at Sunwoo. His body straightened when he finally figures out.

He walks to pause the music, then approaches Sunwoo. He bends down with his hands resting on his knees. Sunwoo’s eyes are closed and his forehead is covered with his left arm while his other hand is on his abdomen, clenching hard. His diaphragm moves up and down in a deep and long way.

“Get your head cool! Your scent is too much!” Changmin hits Sunwoo’s shoulder subtly.

Sunwoo doesn’t answer anything, he just keeps inhaling and exhaling deep long breaths. Changmin sighs a little, then sits down beside Sunwoo, opting to give the latter times.

After a while, Sunwoo’s scent gets calmer as his diaphragm’s up and downs lessened. The sea and hot chocolate fragrances no longer surrounds the room in overly way. He sits up, then looks at Changmin. “Sorry.” He grins.

Changmin hums. “No prob. It didn’t affect me, anyways.”

The silence comes back. Changmin is aware that Sunwoo is sorting his mind, so he closes his mouth and scans their reflection in the mirror instead.

“Something triggered me.”

“I know.” Changmin mutters. He turns his head to the side. "Your scent was so strong. It’s obvious.”

Sunwoo puffs, barely giggles. “And I came here to control myself, but I ended up disrupting you.”

Changmin shrugs. “Well, it’s reasonable. I understand.” He gets up, then looks down at Sunwoo. “I’ve done one-third of choreo. Wanna see?”

Sunwoo nods. “Sure.” As Changmin walks towards the speaker at another edge, Sunwoo turns his body and leans backwards.


	2. The Stealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunwoo never thought he would face an intense situation as to his heart.

Sunwoo stops chewing, his eyebrows frowned as he stares at Youngjae, then Hyunjae, unsure with what he heard just now. He catches the same expression on Hyunjae’s face. They stare at each other for a moment as they continue chewing their foods, sharing their each mind without speaking. As Sunwoo swallows his foods, he looks back at Youngjae. “What? What did you say?”

“You should meet Juyeon.” Youngjae repeats without looking at them, taking a dumpling with his chopsticks.

Sunwoo shares a glance with Hyunjae again, then clears his throat. “And? Why? Why we should meet him?”

Youngjae hums, eating the dumpling. “He wants to meet you. Isn’t it a good opportunity for you to know him deeper?”

“So? Is there any benefit if we get to know each other?”

Youngjae frowns his eyebrows, glaring at Sunwoo. He tsks loudly. “He’s nice. Believe me! He wouldn’t harm or do something wild to me. If you want to ensure it, you should meet and talk with him. He could guarantee it.”

Sunwoo rubs his face and takes a deep breath.”That’s not what I mean. Ah, forget it! You’re a beta, after all.” He throws his chopsticks roughly onto his bowl and leans backwards. The others get startled at the sound.

Youngjae drops his jaw and huffs. “Wow, so disrespectful.” He hisses, then puts his chopsticks forcefully as well, causing a thump sound. He shifts his position before huffs again. “Yeah, I’m a beta, and I can’t experience what you both experience. But, I understand! I have a heart, I can feel what you feel.”

When Sunwoo opens his mouth to speak, Youngjae continues, “But, I can’t always try to understand you. I also need to be understood. You can befriend with anyone, but why I can’t? Why I shouldn’t befriend with any alpha you both don’t know? It’s a bit unfair for me. No. It’s _really_ unfair.” He gulps a tear down as his eyes misted over. He bites his lower lip, taking a heavy breath in. “So, please, give me a chance just for once. Trust me, and meet him.” he begs with his weakened voice.

Sunwoo gulps, remains silent for a while. Staring at Youngjae’s watery eyes aches his heart, so he looks down slightly.

“Youngjae,” Hyunjae calls tenderly. He pulls Youngjae to a hug, rubbing his side. “we understand. We really do. Okay?”

Youngjae lets a cracked breath out. He knows he shouldn’t speak about nature laws as it’s sensitive for them. He knows they can’t do anything with it. It’s their nature, after all. He knows the alphas tried their best to make sure he feels secured and have been efforting to give their everything for him. Still, hearing Sunwoo reminding him he isn’t an alpha hurts his ego. It was out of his will to be presented as a beta.

He flinched when Hyunjae suddenly grabs his shoulders and pulls him facing the latter. The other gasps subtly, wiping his cheeks in a gentle manner. “Why are you crying?” he coos, giggling softly. It takes few seconds for Youngjae to proceed Hyunjae’s words. He doesn’t remember crying, though. He smiles a little and bends his head to cover his face into his hands. His shoulders trembled as he’s struggling to muffle his sobs. He stays like that for a minute while Hyunjae continues rubbing his back.

As he finally gets calmer, he turns his hands down and wipes his tears. When he looks at Hyunjae, the latter smiles fondly at him as he massages his arm. It gave Youngjae consolation, and he’s thankful. Hyunjae glances at Sunwoo, so Youngjae unintentionally does the same. Sunwoo is closing his eyes and biting his lip tightly, his eyebrows furrowed hard.

“Sorry.” Sunwoo gulps. “I didn’t mean to.” He finally opens his eyes, glancing at Hyunjae. The latter is glaring at him, still massaging Youngjae’s arm. Sunwoo can read what is in his mind, so he closes his eyes again in reflex to hold his ego down.

“Okay, I will. We will meet him.”

Sunwoo’s fingers are carding through Youngjae’s black hair. He can barely see the latter’s face as the darkness surrounds them in his room, yet he knows he’s finally sleeping. The slow and steady breaths come in and out. Sunwoo still tries to observe his face to ensure he’s really sleeping, because he hasn’t talk since they went to bed. That’s a bit unexpected of him, and Sunwoo’s aware it’s on him to blame.

After he’s sure Youngjae’s really sleeping, he pulls Youngjae closer and embrace him gently, wanting to scent him a lot as a warning for everybody. He still smells the other’s scent – caramelized sugar and honey, though. It’s not an unfamiliar scent. Instinctively, he inhales it deeply. It’s sweet. It always is. Craving it more, he cuddles him tighter yet smoothly so he wouldn’t wake up.

He didn’t intend to bring the beta thing out, especially when they were discussing regarding something serious. They usually joke about Youngjae being a beta alone, and he’s never offended because a joke is a joke. However, Sunwoo brought it out of his purpose. He shouldn’t did it at whatever point. It hurts Youngjae a lot when it’s not a joke. He knows it very well. So, for the apology, he offered Youngjae to sleep in his dorm. Youngjae was hesitant for a while, but he accepted it anyways.

He gets startled slightly when Youngjae nudges himself into the embrace with his nose barely touches Sunwoo’s shoulder. Although it tickles him, he stays still. He lets out a small breath which he doesn’t register holding it in. Without releasing the cuddle, he looks up at the ceilings. Then, he closes his eyes, reminiscing their moments backwards years. When Hyunjae presented, when he and Youngjae presented, and how he fell in love with the latter that day at winter. It has been years. He’s getting damn used in his safe zone.

It’s always tiring, honestly, to consider whether he should get out of his safe zone and sacrifice their friendship, or not. It’s dreadfully tiring up to the point his eyes grew heavy and he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo takes the headset off and turns around. His eyebrows raised up when he sees the person, wondering since it’s a bit unusual for him to come over out of a sudden. “Yeah?” His eyes follow the other’s steps towards the bed.

The other looks around for a moment. “Youngjae isn’t here?”

Sunwoo raises his eyebrows more, then nods. “He left around an hour ago, maybe?”

He furrows his eyebrows as he’s finally realizing the intent. He puts the headset onto the table, leaning forwards with his elbows resting on his knees. “About last night, it was out of my purpose. I really didn’t mean to, Hyunjae. It just–“ He sighs heavily and bends down, then looks up straight to the other’s eyes. “Okay, I won’t make any excuse. But, I thought you would understand me?”

“I understand, but that was too much. Don’t you know how much it pains him? Let it be just a joke!” Hyunjae warns with a firm voice.

Sunwoo keeps silent for a minute. He doesn’t want to debate it, but he knows Hyunjae wouldn’t leave before he reaches the satisfaction. He stands abruptly and walks to the mini counter, grabbing a water. He stares at Hyunjae who’s still sitting there. “Then, how about you? Be frank. You also don’t want to, right?”

“I’m not a true alpha.”

“Yeah, but you’re still an alpha. Stop being hypocrite. I saw your mind.”

Hyunjae clenches his jaw. “Being an alpha shouldn’t justify it, Sunwoo. I know you can control yourself. We’re still human.”

Sunwoo looks away and smirks, barely laughing. “I don’t even know why I said that. It was unlike me.” he mutters to himself. They leave the heated silence be surrounding them.

“Do you like him?”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows frowned. He tilts his head as he looks at Hyunjae with a questioning look. The other’s gaze seems serious. It makes him shrinks a bit. To hide it, he laughs vaguely. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

They stares at each other sharply, until Hyunjae stands. “I’m just asking. Why? Is it bad?” He steps forwards, then stops at Sunwoo’s side. “I don’t care if you like him or not. You _must_ know your place. If you can’t hold yourself to not hurt him, he could be traumatized with you. He might forgive you for now, but in the future?” he warns with his low deep voice. Before Sunwoo replies, he leaves him, bumping their shoulders slightly.

After few seconds, Sunwoo looks down, gritting his teeth and clenching his hands. He punches the counter just a little. “Shut up. You like him too, Hyunjae.”

Sunwoo steps into the café as he turns his head around, searching for the people whom he has an appointment with. When he sees Youngjae rising his hand from a table near the window, he walks towards there. Hyunjae and Juyeon are already here. As soon as he arrives at the table, he smells coffee and custard from Juyeon, strong enough to wake his alter ego. Fortunately, his consciousness is stronger. He bows down and smiles a little at Juyeon before sits beside Hyunjae.

Not wanting to share an eye contact with Juyeon, Sunwoo looks around, scanning the entire café. The café has a nature-like view with furnitures made of woods and many plants as interior decorations. There’s an open-kitchen where they can see the baristas and bakers working at the center. As he observes the workers there, he finally smells the coffees and breads, which is relaxing him at some points. It’s a nice café, he thinks. As expected from Youngjae, he knows exactly a great café nearby.

“Wanna order something? I’ll order for you.” Youngjae asks, bringing Sunwoo’s attention back.

“Iced americano, please.” Juyeon asks without thinking anymore. “Thanks.”

Hyunjae hums and mumbles something incoherent. “For me, hot chocolate and croissant. They serve it, right?”

“They do.” Youngjae looks at Sunwoo. “Sunwoo?”

“Espresso, also croissant.”

After noting their orders into his mind verbally, Youngjae goes to order. Then, there it is, they’re in an awkward silence. No one wants to open and talk first. Both Sunwoo and Hyunjae are avoiding sharing a look with Juyeon in front of them and looking at anywhere but him instead. It causes Juyeon kind of uncomfortable. He keeps rubbing his neck, smiling gawkily, and turning his head back at Youngjae.

So, when Youngjae comes back, Juyeon breathes and drops his tensed shoulders in relief.

“It will be served soon.” Youngjae looks at them one by one. Noticing something weird, he leers and frowns. “You guys didn’t talk?” He shakes his head, not surprised anymore. “Well, I assume you already know your each name, so maybe let’s talk about your days?” He smiles and rests his chin onto his hand, anticipating the others’ stories.

Yet, there is another silence, and it’s annoying him more. He sighs loudly and forces a smile. Then, he leans forwards and mutters to Hyunjae and Sunwoo, “I thought you said you will talk with him?” He leans back again and grins at Juyeon as if nothing happened.

Juyeon coughs, knowing what to do. “Uh, you might already know me, but let me introduce properly. I’m Juyeon. Youngjae talked a lot about you.”

“Ah, I see.” Hyunjae grins. “I’m Hyunjae, and it’s Sunwoo.” He points at Sunwoo. The latter nods slightly.

Juyeon smiles, then stretches a hand out. “Nice to meet you.” After few seconds of hesitation, Hyunjae responds to it, followed by Sunwoo.

“What a nice view.” Youngjae says abruptly. “I hope you guys can get closer.”

Since they couldn’t let another silence again, or else Youngjae would scold them, they are brutally uneasy, especially because their orders are still not here yet. Juyeon keeps smiling while rubbing his nape, thinking for any topic to talk about.

“I know both of you are nice. And,” Juyeon pauses to lick his dry lips. “I know you are also _that_. That’s why I want to meet you. Don’t– don’t misinterpret me.”

Hyunjae gasps a bit and immediately waves his hands hurrily. “Oh, no, no! Don’t feel wrong. We know it too. Thanks for your concern.”

“Thank you, again.” Juyeon smiles, staring at them. “So, what are you up to?”

“I’m working on musics for an event. It’s still coming in two months.” Sunwoo starts out since he finally can handle himself.

“Ah, that event?”

“Yep. You know?” A hope sparked in Sunwoo’s eyes as Juyeon nods. It’s kind of unexpected, and he’s about to ask him for any feedback and promote the event, but he holds it back when he notices the other’s gloomy eyes in a sudden.

Maybe it’s only him, but he supposes there’s something bothering Juyeon about the event. Well, he couldn’t just go and ask it just for the shake of the event, right? They just meet today.

“He’s good in composing music, so I hope you will look forward to it. He’s really, really amazing!” Youngjae compliments with a big proud smile. It brings Juyeon back to reality.

He glances at Sunwoo, then smiles. “I will make sure to, then.” He looks at Hyunjae, gesturing his hand towards the latter. “And, you?”

Hyunjae’s eyebrows raised at it, then makes some noise. “Nothing much. I’m working on my thesis. I’m expecting to graduate this term.” He laughs a little.

It’s already quite strong since Sunwoo sits beside Hyunjae, but the latter’s scent gets even stronger right now, and they’re just less than five inches apart. It’s distracting Sunwoo, so he glances at the older. Hyunjae is smiling, but his hands are clenching hard under the table, seems like he’s controlling himself. It’s a success, actually, but not for Sunwoo. He can sense the fire, not only from Hyunjae’s alter ego, but also his ego.

Somehow, it alarms him. He’s aware that his situation is in risk. Their friendship, in exact. Hyunjae knows his feelings for Youngjae, and he doesn’t know yet how far Youngjae and Juyeon’s bond is.

Love is shitty, perhaps.

Lucky for them, because no longer after Hyunjae answers, their orders are served. So, they have anything to play with and an excuse to pause the talk for a while before jumping to another topic.

“–woo! Hello?”

Sunwoo jolts back, he blinks and looks at Changmin in front of him. For a moment, he stays like this, still processing his mind. When he gets back fully to reality, he shakes his head. “Oh, yes?”

“You were daydreaming.” Changmin takes his bag off, then sits beside Sunwoo. “You didn’t even realize I was coming.”

Sunwoo shifts his legs, grinning a little. “Sorry.”

Changmin looks at Sunwoo with a raised eyebrow. “You look down. Something bothering you?”

Sunwoo hums. “Sort of? Not about our project. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t care whether it’s about it or not. It’s just kinda weird seeing you being down. You always seem enthusiastic with this project, y’know? And, actually, your energy cheer me up.” Changmin laughs. “So, for the return, I also wanna cheer you up. If you don’t mind to, want to tell me?”

A soft smile grew on Sunwoo’s face. Changmin’s words reminds him his habits. Yes, he always does his best on creating musics by putting his soul into it. But, this project is a bit different. It has its own place deep in his heart and is special. Through this project, he meets another person he could trust within this dual cosmos.

“You already cheer me up, though.” he murmurs softly. “You play an important role to me.”

“Really? How?”

“You don’t need to know it.”

Changmin rolls his eyes. “Sure, do as you wish! But, I wanna let you know I’m here whenever you’re bothered with whatever it is.”

At first, Sunwoo brushes it off and just giggles at him, but his other mind thinks he probably should tell him. If he thinks thoroughly, it’s not really a bad idea. At the end, Changmin is the only one he could trust for this time.

“Can I?” he asks. As the other nods, he continues, “Have you ever have a conflict with someone? Not just any person, but someone you’ve spent a lot time with.”

Changmin doesn’t answer for a moment. Instead, he digs into his bag, searching for something. After he takes the speaker out, he stands. “I have. Are you facing it?”

“Maybe? I don’t even know if it’s a conflict, but for me it is. Well, we always argue. I guess it’s such a normal thing between us. But, it’s never been as intense as it is now.”

Changmin plays a demo in the speaker, then puts it on a side. He stretches his arms up and tiptoes, staying like that for few seconds. “If you think it’s a conflict for you, then it is. No matter how strong your bond is, you’ll face conflict someday. One thing you must look carefully is how you handle it, both of you.” He stares at Sunwoo through the mirror and tilts his head. “Based on my experiences, if the argue is too intense and burning with you being so selfish, then it’s the end. But, if you can handle it well, everything will be fine. Vice versa.”

Sunwoo gulps nervously. Changmin’s saying frightened him. There’s no way he and Hyunjae wouldn’t burn the tension and be selfish, except if they could set their ego and alter ego aside, which is would be a bit hard.

“You should talk about it with them and find a way to settle it down together. It’s a better way, after all. If you don’t open with each other, then what is the point? You will hurt each other, instead.” Changmin ends it before he begins his dance practice.

With that, Sunwoo remains silent, pondering Changmin’s advice. He already understand very well every argue would be settled nicely if the actors are open amongst them. It’s just he’s scared. What if the conflict gets even worse because they couldn’t rule their emotions out? But, not talking about it is worse, either. The options are to take it or to not take it. Besides, he wouldn’t know how it will be going if he doesn’t try it yet.

So, he grabs his phone and texts Hyunjae, deciding to do what feels right for him for the shake of them.

hyunjae

4:12 PM we need to talk

4:12 PM just two of us

4:13 PM don’t let youngjae know

“Thanks, by the way, Changmin.”


	3. Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim Sunwoo, a fool struggling with his heart.

Sunwoo looks up from his phone when he notices someone’s standing in front of him. He puts his phone and straightens his body. “Sorry I suddenly asked to talk together.”

Hyunjae hums, sitting down as he puts his phone and wallet onto the table. “It’s okay. My task is only thesis, though.” He takes a look around, observing the place. They’re in a fast food restaurant. There’s a lot of people since it’s already dinner time. “So, what is it?”

“Let’s order first.” Sunwoo gets up and picks his wallet up. “Want anything?”

“Make it same as yours. I’ll pay it later.”

Sunwoo comes back after around ten minutes with a tray of two bulgogi burgers and two Cokes. When he’s about to bite the burger, Hyunjae cuts him off, “Talk ahead!”

It causes Sunwoo to stop for a second before really biting it, not bothering the other. As he chews, he hears a long huff from Hyunjae. “Let me have a bite first, I’m hungry.” he urges after swallowing his food. “You too.”

Hyunjae rolls his eyes, but he takes his burger anyways.

After Hyunjae takes a bite, Sunwoo clears his throat so his voice would sounds clear. “Let’s talk with cool head as a human.”

“It’s about Youngjae, right?”

“Hmm, not really.” Sunwoo shifts his seat forwards. “It’s also about us.”

Hyunjae keeps silent, eyeing his burger instead. After a while, he tips his chin forwards. “Go ahead.”

For few seconds, Sunwoo doesn’t reply purposely to take time. He takes a long breath. “I see you’ve guessed how I see him now. Well, I can’t hide it, so I admit it.”

Hyunjae’s eyebrows immediately raised up for a second. He gets caught up. He drinks his Coke, trying to not look shocked – well, he isn’t, but he might looks like.

Sunwoo keeps his gaze at Hyunjae, catching his every movements. “It’s kinda hard for me to open up, since it could risk everything. But, I’m aware of it, and I hope you understand.” he continues.

“Are you sure with it?”

Sunwoo nods without hesitant. “It’s been years for me. Well, at first, I was not really sure. But, we’ve been together since then, so I knew how everything begins to feel novel.”

There’s a silence for a minute as both of them choose to continue eating while living on their each world. It’s indeed true, Hyunjae has been guessing Sunwoo likes Youngjae more than just a friend. Although Sunwoo didn’t show it, he could sense it from his scent and attitude at Youngjae. He doesn’t know, though, when did it start, because he just realized currently, when Youngjae got closer with Juyeon.

Actually, he felt intimidated by Juyeon already. And, the fact that Sunwoo opens up to him directly intimidates him more. It’s like the other knows him as well and urges him to do the same. He has no idea, he just thinks so.

Hyunjae sighs deeply, looking straight to Sunwoo’s eyes. “Are we fighting or what?”

“Huh?”

“I love him, too.”

There’s no surprised look from Sunwoo, his face remains same. It makes Hyunjae wondering, _does he know it already?_

“How?”

“What?”

“How long has it been? Since when did you?”

Sunwoo’s question drags Hyunjae backwards in urge. His fingers knock the table while his other hand wraps his Coke, and his eyes stare at the receipt.

_A ball was flying so far after hit by a bat. Hyunjae’s eyes followed the ball. He smiled without realizing it, turning his head at Youngjae. The latter was still watching the ball with a hand covering the side of his face from the sunbeam and didn’t notice him. When the ball landed far enough at a point, he jumped and shouted a hooray out loud. Hyunjae giggled at him, walking closer to him._

_“Did you have fun?”_

_Youngjae startled and looked at him spontantly, then sighed and rolled his eyes. “Ah! Hyunjae, you surprised me.” He swung his bat, smiling brightly. “Baseball is so fun!”_

_Hyunjae dropped his butt onto the ground of grasses. “You always said that.”_

_Youngjae ran to pick the ball up, then he turned around to face Hyunjae. “Catch it!” he ordered before throwing the ball. Hyunjae was a bit shocked, but then he raised his arms and catched it right away. Youngjae ran back towards him, then he clapped. “Wow! What a good reflex.”_

_Hyunjae shook his head. He put the ball onto his lap, then tapped the ground beside him, ordering Youngjae to sit. The latter then sat, he sighed while watching the sky. “I’m not lying at all. Baseball is really so fun. I wonder how human came up with such game.” He took the ball from Hyunjae’s lap, then stood. “Let’s play it! You’ll know what I mean.”_

_For a moment, Hyunjae stayed still. He never thought Youngjae would have such mind. He then realized the younger is getting mature these days. That realization somehow hit him as he wasn’t there for him since earlier this year for his college. He missed Youngjae a lot while he was apart from him. He smiled a bit, standing up to play together._

_They were playing baseball together for about ten minutes. Youngjae was a batter, and Hyunjae was a pitcher. As they played it, Hyunjae just noticed Youngjae’s body has built up well. He also could sense the latter’s fieriness passion from his eyes. Now, he could understand why Youngjae always wanted to be presented as an alpha._

_He yelped, bent down, and touched his eye after got hit by the ball hard. He could hear Youngjae running towards him in panic, yet he stayed still while the other struggled to yank his hand off and chanted many apologies. As the yanks got stronger, Hyunjae’s balance lessened. He then fell backwards, and he accidentally held onto Youngjae’s fabric to maintain his balance, but ended up pull the latter with him. He closed his eyes tightly as his back bumped to the ground, then he shrieked in pain. He didn’t move for a while, panicking Youngjae more. He kept yanking Hyunjae and chanting his name, and he almost cried when he really didn’t open his eyes and say anything._

_Later, he just realized Youngjae was on top of him when he opened his eyes. He was about to ask Youngjae if he’s okay, but it stuck on his tongue’s tip as Youngjae bawled and hugged him tight. That very second, he thought he finally acknowledged why he is a true beta._

_At that moment, his heart beated faster, his arousal twisted, and his skin burnt up at the sweet scent._

“It was my first summer break back then, probs? I’m not really sure.” He looks at Sunwoo, sipping his Coke.

Sunwoo raises his eyebrows a little unconsciously. His eyes dart anxiously. _So, it was before me_. He smirks to hide his expression. “That’s long.”

Another silence surrounds them again. They’re absorbed in their each mind once again, thinking about how long and precious their bond is. It would be a pity if they end it here just like that.

“We’ve been together for long time. Well, except those times when you were apart from us.” Sunwoo pauses for a second, seems like a bit hesitant to ask something. “How did you bear the feeling for three years?”

“That’s why I was always home every break.”

Sunwoo pauses for a second before he laughs sarcastically with a low voice at himself. He feels betrayed. He thought Hyunjae came home as if it was his responsibility as their brother and leader before he took it away. “Not because it was your responsibility?”

“That was also a reason.” Hyunjae leans backwards and sighs. “Let’s not fight for now. As you’ve said, we’ve been together for long.”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows knitted, somewhat confused. “You mean, we’re on the same boat?”

Hyunjae shrugs. “I don’t think so. We were too focusing on him, Sunwoo. I think it’s our time to be free.”

“What do you mean?”

Hyunjae inhales a deep breath as he leans forwards, then speaks in low voice so that no one could hear him except Sunwoo, “We didn’t see anyone else other than him although we’re alpha. What do you think why it happened? I guess it’s because we were too focusing on him.”

Sunwoo doesn’t answer for a minute. He doesn’t want to, for real. He never thought him focusing on Youngjae as the cause of his love for him. If he loves someone, then he does it sincerely.

“It’s not like we’ll lose him, no. But, let’s try it and see if our feelings are true later.” Hyunjae adds, as if he can read Sunwoo’s mind.

Sunwoo’s offended and about to refuse it, but then Changmin’s advice appears in his mind. Also, if he thinks thoroughly, Hyunjae isn’t truly wrong. They could see it as a trial. He isn’t sure what’s Hyunjae’s plan, though. But, what if he tries it, then when he catches something fishy from Hyunjae, he could use it to turnover the game? Then, it would be interesting.

“Okay, deal.”

Changmin turns his head when he hears the door opening. “Oh? What brings you here, Sunwoo?” He raises his eyebrows, walking to pause the music.

Sunwoo sits on the corner. “Nothing, just seeking for some comfort.”

Changmin’s eyebrows furrowed at it. He approaches Sunwoo and sits beside him. “Something happened, again?”

“No, Changmin. It’s just.. my mind is occupied with so many thoughts.” He sighs, barely laughing.

Changmin rolls his eyes. “You always come here to seek comfort, y’know? Which club do you belong to?”

Sunwoo chuckles. “I can’t ease in my studio. I always remembered the deadline of other musics to work on, even when I didn’t want to. Besides,” He tilts his head aside, smiling warmly at Changmin. “you’re the first person who isn’t a pure human I know thru my college year. So, it’s a better place for me.”

It leaves Changmin speechless. He opens and closes his mouth several times, doesn’t know what to reply. He gets what Sunwoo meant. It’s harder for them to find any werewolf in a new place without any links such as their family, so it would be a luck if they could find one.

Changmin shifts uncomfortably. “You couldn’t always trust any of them, Sunwoo.”

“But, I trust you.”

“Don’t–“

“I trust you, nonetheless. Why? You don’t trust me?”

“Sun– No, I trust you. But, please don’t expect me a lot. You still don’t know me entirely, yet.” he asks, staring at the other with a worried look.

“Then, open up to me.”

Changmin sighs heavily, biting his lip. He stays silent for a moment. “I will try to. Sorry, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo shakes his head, smiling gently. “No, I’m sorry if I sounded like forcing you.”

Changmin looks down to his lap, doesn’t reply anything. Sunwoo’s attitude confuses him these days. The way Sunwoo always comes to his studio just because it gives him comfort, also the way he himself gives the younger comfort despite not doing anything. Honest speaking, he feels like he knew Sunwoo for years already although they just met two month ago.

Changmin shakes his head a bit, brushing these thoughts away. “So, how’s your problem?”

Sunwoo hums, sounds like not interested. “I don’t know. We’ve talked, and it went not really bad, but also not really good.”

“Is that what occupied your mind?” Changmin’s question is answered with another hum. “Let me know if you need any help. I’ll try my best.”

Youngjae grabs some plastic trashes from the mini counter and floor as soon as he enters Sunwoo’s dorm, then he throws it onto the trashbin. He pushes the bathroom’s door beside the mini counter, peeking inside. After ensuring the bathroom is clean, he walks inside the dorm. The host is in front of the PC, working on something, he guesses it’s music. Not wanting to disturb Sunwoo, he cleans the table.

“You’re here.”

Youngjae glances at Sunwoo. The latter’s eyes are still focusing on the desktop. “Yeah. I’ll be leaving after cleaning your room.”

“Wait a minute, I have something to ask you.” Sunwoo asks without taking his eyes off the desktop,

Youngjae’s eyebrows raised. “O-oh, okay.” Since Sunwoo doesn’t say anything anymore, he continues cleaning the table.

After he finishes tidying up the bed, Sunwoo takes the headset off and turns around, facing Youngjae. He looks serious, so Youngjae straightens his body and sits politely. It takes few times until Sunwoo opens his mouth. “How’s it going with Juyeon?”

Youngjae’s eyes widened at it, then blinked and darted nervously. “Sunwoo, I don’t–“

“Just answer it.”

Youngjae bites his lip, wondering what’s on Sunwoo’s mind. “Um, not bad.” He sighs, seems agitated. “Sunwoo, what’s wrong with you? Are you still triggered even after you met him?”

Sunwoo shakes his head. “I won’t get mad. Just tell me honestly.” he urges firmly.

“Really?” Youngjae asks, ensuring. The other nods immediately. Youngjae remains silent for a minute, sorting the words deliberately. “He’s fine. There’s still no discomfort acts from him, yet. He never gets really angry easily, maybe? I’m not sure. But, he always be humble with his pack.”

“Are his pack here?”

Youngjae nods. “I’ve met them. They’re friendly and fun.” He takes Sunwoo’s hands, looking straight to his eyes. “I won’t join them, I swear. It’s just, they’re like us and their bond is strong, so everytime I was with Juyeon, they followed him as well. If you don’t like it, just say it.”

Sunwoo intertwines their fingers, humming. “I know.” he mumbles. He pulls Youngjae closer a bit and keeps his eyes on Youngjae’s eyes. “Do you enjoy being with him?”

Seriously, Youngjae can’t read Sunwoo’s face and predict his plan. But, his voice is too relax to be suspected. He doesn’t want to answer because he’s afraid, yet he needs to. Otherwise, Sunwoo would be worried, or something. After a moment, he finally nods a little. He supposes Sunwoo would be pissed off, but he isn’t. Instead, he smiles subtly. Their fingers are still linked, and he doesn’t seem want to withdraw his hand. “Be good, then. I’ll trust you to them when I couldn’t because of my project. Send my apology and gratitude to them.”

Youngjae doesn’t know what to reply, so he just nods. They stay like that for a while. Sunwoo rubs Youngjae’s fingers before releasing the hold. “You can leave now. Thanks for cleaning my room.”

As Youngjae leaves him, he stares at nothing. Youngjae is happy with Juyeon. Sunwoo heard it from Youngjae directly. Hyunjae is right. Maybe it’s their time now to finally move on and focus on their path.

And, maybe it’s his time to twist the game.

Sunwoo drags Changmin to a storeroom of the studio after everyone are gone. Because of the sudden movements, Changmin screams in surprise. He chants “Let me go!” along with Sunwoo’s name and yanks his hand off the grip, yet it only causes Sunwoo to tighten the grip.

When they enter the room, Sunwoo closes the door. “Sunwoo, what are you doing?” Changmin shouts, pulling Sunwoo from the door. Sunwoo doesn’t move an inch, though.

“What was in your mind earlier?” he turns the question.

Changmin inhales sharply. “It was their fault, not mine.”

“Don’t throw the blame to anyone else! No one’s wrong here.”

Changmin tsks loud. “It is, Sunwoo! Do you think they could just order you as they wish?”

“No, and I acknowledge it. But, you shouldn’t go far away. It was too risky. You almost transformed, and it wasn’t the first time, Changmin.” Sunwoo stresses the last part.

Changmin sighs, he brushes his hair back. “I didn’t mean to! My emotions just blew up like that. They were too much. It was reasonable.”

For few seconds, Sunwoo remains silent. He looks away. “Are you sure you’re a true beta? You sounds like a dom-beta, no offense.”

Changmin frowns, still offended anyways. “What do you mean?”

Sunwoo shrugs. “Someone I know is also a true beta, but he isn’t like you.”

“Don’t change the topic, brat!” Changmin hisses a little. “Aren’t you mad? Don’t you feel wronged? They gave you more task to do, and you’re fine with it? You sure?”

Sunwoo closes his eyes for a second, inhaling a deep breath. “I am. I’m mad, as well. Who doesn’t? They suddenly wanted me to do changes for my music when they had accepted it a week ago, of course I’m angry, even angrier than you. It didn’t make sense at all.” He shakes his head. “But, would everything be settled if I resist? It would worsened. You said so yourself. And, you–“ He pauses to take a deep breath and close his eyes again, struggling to cool his head down. “Why did you act as if it was you who’s wronged?”

“I felt bad for you.”

“Okay, okay, you felt bad for me. But, I’m totally fine! You shouldn’t go that far, please.”

Changmin glares at Sunwoo. “I did that because I know well how much time and effort you invested into it. Besides, you have some other musics to work on, too.” He sighs, looking down. “Why did you intervene and stop me? It’s not like you would take a blame if I really transform. You could just act as one of them and not bothering me. I wouldn’t hate you, anyways.”

Changmin’s words silenced Sunwoo off. He questions himself. Why did he? He was afraid something would happen to Changmin if he transforms in front of human and he would lose someone he could trust on. He remembers he concerned Changmin these days as well, as the latter gave him comfort when he was troubled. It’s weird, he never felt that way for someone else other than Youngjae – and Hyunjae. Then, Hyunjae’s deal and Youngjae’s claim pass through his mind. Should he try to move on? Should he follow Hyunjae’s game before he plans to take over?

Well, everything wouldn’t be revealed if he doesn’t try it first.

“It’s too confusing, Sunwoo. I– Aw! Hey, Sun–“ Changmin gasps and his eyes widened when he realizes Sunwoo’s face is close to him. He was pushed to the wall suddenly before he could finish his sentence. He gulps hardly. He can’t move his body although there’s a space for him, and he just registers Sunwoo’s thighs are pressing his thighs.

Sunwoo stares right into Changmin’s eyes. “Want to know?” he asks breathlessly.

Before Changmin could answer, Sunwoo leans forward and captures Changmin’s lips. Changmin’s eyes widened more. He freezes and his mind goes blank. It’s a soft short kiss, their lips aren’t moving.

Sunwoo disconnects their lips without withdrawing himself. “It’s because I care for you.” he murmurs with his deep voice. Then, he kisses Changmin again after glancing at his lips, closing his eyes slowly. Without taking time, he starts in a bold, sensual attitude. His hands travel up from Changmin’s shoulder to his jaws to cup it.

Changmin wants to push Sunwoo away, but his body won’t follow his brain. So, he stays still and doesn’t kiss him back. His thoughts run everywhere, trying to find out what Sunwoo’s aim and what can he do. However, when he smells Sunwoo’s scent which is still calm, he recognized it’s not Sunwoo’s alter ego. Sunwoo is still in his ego state. He’s uncertain, though. Yet, he knows Sunwoo is serious about caring him. His hands are rumpling his shirt’s hem before moving timidly to twine around the other’s neck. Carefully, he opens his mouth and kiss him back. Sunwoo’s startled, but then he smirks. He slides his tongue into Changmin’s mouth, playing with his tongue as he pushes himself closer. Changmin moans low when he senses Sunwoo’s bulge touching his bulge.

Sunwoo pulls himself to take a breath. A string of saliva connects their lips indirectly. They share a hazy gaze, panting hard. A long heated silence fills the room, the only sounds are their fast heartbeats and loud breaths. Embarrassed, Changmin bends his head down, but the other’s hands push his head up, locking their eyes together.

“Don’t you like me?” Sunwoo asks with his low raspy voice.

Changmin’s ears burned up. When he looks at Sunwoo’s eyes, he notices his sincerity. _Shit, he isn’t kidding._ He gulps nervously, looking at anywhere but Sunwoo’s eyes. “Sunwoo, I–“

They turn their head abruptly to the door when they hear some noise outside, then they freeze for a second. Sunwoo tugs Changmin to a hidden space between piles of cardboards right away, enfolding them together, then they keep silent.

Luckily, whatever thing that caused the noise doesn’t enter the room and is gone after a while. Sunwoo lets a deep breath which he holds on out in relief and loosens his grip. Changmin bends his head down, then he draws the hem of Sunwoo’s hoodie shyly with his red face. “Sunwoo, I think we should go quickly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, but i need to :(


	4. 2cm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game just started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bgm: minseo (feat. paul kim) - 2cm

Outside the studio, Changmin is standing in front of the door, thinking hard in anxiety whether he should go in or not. His gut says Sunwoo is inside. After that incident yesterday, they went without having Changmin answering after he suggested they should go quickly before anyone come again. Of course, it would make sense if Sunwoo is there if he is serious about that.

Changmin sighs heavily. He doesn’t want to meet Sunwoo for a while, really. He couldn’t even have a proper sleep last night. But, he need the studio to practice as it is his only place. His dorm is too small, and he needs to finish the choreo entirely sooner.

Fuck this collaboration project for making him doing this task all alone. He shouldn’t have joined at the first place. Suddenly, he regrets it.

After too long time standing right there like a fool and being watched with a weird look by people passing by, he decides to act as if he doesn’t remember anything. He takes long deep breaths and controls his heartbeat, then he opens the door slowly.

He is right. Sunwoo is here, taking a nap at the corner. He doesn’t wake up, though. Changmin sighs a little in relief. He walks in with slow and silent steps, afraid he would wake him up. He knows it would be a waste anyways because they have fucking sharp smell, yet he still does it, praying Sunwoo is having a deep nap so his smell doesn’t work well.

“You took long.”

Changmin stops abruptly, turning his head. Sunwoo is still closing his eyes and doesn’t move, though Changmin is sure he’s waking up. Changmin cries silently. _Shit, shit, shit!_

Changmin laughs awkwardly, is nervous for some reasons. “Why would you wait for me, though?”

Sunwoo sits up, finally really waking up. He stretches his body and arm, making some noises. “I need your thoughts for my music revision.” He pulls his bag by the strap, then takes his laptop out. He taps the floor beside him. “Come here, help me!”

Changmin stays still for a while, staring at Sunwoo skeptically. The other doesn’t do any suspicious act and look. But, he could just use it as his alibi.

Sunwoo looks up from his laptop at Changmin with his wondering look, then tips his head to the side. “Come here!”

Changmin presses his lips in, still doesn’t move. Sunwoo seems like he doesn’t mind about the incident yesterday. If Changmin acts as one, he would unintentionally remind Sunwoo the incident, right? It’s better to do the same as Sunwoo does. Thus, he walks closer and sits beside Sunwoo with some gaps in a timid manner. The other doesn’t seem notice it – or probably he just doesn’t bother it.

“So, they wanted me to change the intro and interlude, and some beats as well. Lucky for you it’s not the music you’ve created the choreo for. Any idea?” Sunwoo plays the music to find some errors of it together.

As the music is playing, Changmin steals a glance at Sunwoo, trying to figure out his plan. The other is focusing on the music, though, so Changmin hears the music prudently along with him. It needs some replays until they find out the error. There are some vague, little unappropriated-like noises. After they find out, they fall silent for a minute.

“Ah, I see! That’s why they suddenly wanted some changes just recently.” Sunwoo’s cheeks flushed, pausing the music immediately with a fast speed. “How did they find out?” He laughs to ease the air. “Sorry..” he squeaks.

Changmin bends his head down entirely to hide his red face. He groans silently to himself. The images of their kiss yesterday shows up in his mind, causing his face blushed more. He is afraid those noises would remind Sunwoo. But, then, he hears a playful song being played.

After three songs played without any of them speaking, Changmin finally raises his head slowly. He still doesn’t have the audacity to look at Sunwoo yet and just stares at anything.

“So, how?” Sunwoo speaks first, looking at Changmin.

Changmin’s flustered. “Uh, what?”

Sunwoo hums for a second before adding carefully, “How about yesterday?”

Changmin’s heart fluttered instantly and he senses his ears are getting hot. He turns his head down again. “I don’t know.” he murmurs, ashamed.

Sunwoo sighs, dropping his shoulders and looking forwards. “Am I too fast? Sorry, then.”

Changmin doesn’t answer for a moment. He can sense the other is _serious_. But, why and how? He rubs his fingers unconsciously. “Are you serious?” he still asks although he knows the answer already.

Sunwoo takes his time before hums and answers, “I’m serious.”

His answer just gives Changmin more anxiety. He bites his lip, still playing with his fingers as he stares at it. “Can you give me time?” he pleas low, almost couldn’t heard.

Sunwoo hums long, considering. “Sure.” He looks at Changmin, barely giggling when he sees the other’s flushed face. “Then, how about it? Are you free this weekend? If yes, you can come to date with me this weekend and I’ll take it as a yes. If you don’t want to, then don’t come. No pressure. I won’t feel sad.”

Changmin remains silent for few seconds. “I am, but.. uh–“ Unconsciously, he hides his face into his hands, staying like that. It had happened, he couldn’t do anything to turn the time back, no matter how much he regrets it. Without turning his hands down, he nods slightly. At least, it sounds better than he answers it right now.

Sunwoo smirks, almost giggling, then he mumbles, “Cute.” He clears his throat. “Then, I’ll wait for you in front of 7-eleven. I’ll text you the time later.”

Changmin sighs anxiously for the umpteenth time at Sunwoo’s text from last night. It’s the day, and he already decided to go, yet he’s still afraid. He glances at the clock in the screen. It’s 10:07 AM, and he only has less than an hour to prepare. He rereads the text, then groans as he throws his phone aside, into the bed, smoothly.

Sunwoo (Music)

i’ll be there at around 11 am 06:48 PM

no need to feel forced 06:48 PM

ok? 06:48 PM

He finally really gets up to take a shower after taking his time to calm himself. As he walks to the bathroom, he chants to himself, “I can do it! Everything’s going to be fine. It’s your opportunity, Changmin.”

After taking a shower, he picks his gray furry sweater, then tucks it into his navy blue jeans. He combs his hair aside with his fingers and aligns his gold necklace with two dangling small moons as the pendant as he checks himself in the mirror. He chooses this simple style as it’s their first date yet, and all of it happened all of the sudden. He doesn’t want to look as if he takes it seriously and wants to impress the other overly. After inhaling a deep breath, he grabs a small round black slingbag.

When he almost arrives at 7-eleven, he spots Sunwoo who’s sitting and knocking his feet, staring at his phone with his knitted eyebrows. Changmin realizes Sunwoo’s wearing something a bit different today, which is fluttering his heart. He wears plain black t-shirt with khaki knee length coat, same colored pleats, and dark brown bucket hat. After breathing deeply, Changmin approaches Sunwoo slowly.

Before he is in front of Sunwoo and calls him, Sunwoo turns his head, then he sighs, relieved. He smiles sweetly as his eyes follow Changmin’s steps. “I thought you wouldn’t come.” He scans the other up from the head to the feet, still smiling. “You don’t come just because you feel bad for me, right?”

“I’m not.” Changmin glares at the other. “Don’t make me change my mind!”

Sunwoo chuckles softly. “Okay, okay.” He stands after putting his phone into the coat pocket. “Wanna buy some ice cream or any drink?”

Changmin glances at the store, then nods. He walks in without further ado, leaving Sunwoo behind. He buys a Sikye, and Sunwoo buys an Olatte. Buying the drink eases Changmin, frankly.

“So.. let’s date?” Sunwoo ensures after they walk out the store. It feels odd to hear the ‘date’ word and see this kind attitude from Sunwoo since Changmin never expected it from him. Well, he came here, at the end. As he nods and smiles a little, Sunwoo smiles back and lends a hand, signaling him to interlace their hands. Changmin glances at it before accepting it in a timid way.

“Where do you wanna go?”

Changmin looks up. “Up to you.”

Sunwoo raises his eyebrows. “Hm? You don’t have any place you wanna go?”

Changmin takes a breath, shifting himself to face Sunwoo entirely. He stares straightway to Sunwoo’s eyes. “Sunwoo, it’s.. still a bit weird for me. You asked me out in a sudden. Still, I want to try. So, can’t you, please?” His voice tone weakened.

Sunwoo remains silent, staring back. He knows he’s too fast. Blame his impulsive trait. He just wants to see how Youngjae and Hyunjae would react, especially Hyunjae so he could see and guess what is the latter’s aim. Or, he could also use this as a try to moving on. He sighs and smiles tenderly. “Okay. But, let me know if there’s any. I want to make sure you’re happy today.”

“I will, but later.” Changmin pauses, looking down slightly. “Thanks.”

Sunwoo tightens his grip. “So, Lotte World?”

As soon as he hears the place’s name, Changmin reminisces some memories from his past albeit he doesn’t want to. _Out of all places, why is it Lotte World?_ He hums in doubtful. He knows he could just reject it, but he also desires to challenge himself deep in his heart. So, he agrees to it.

At Lotte World, they try a lot of games and snacks for hours. At first, Changmin feels agitated as his past shows up vividly at some corner there. But, Sunwoo luckily eases him very well. He throws many jokes and follows Changmin’s every wish, even the one that terrified him much. Changmin starts to forget his past after they try Gyoro Drip whereas Sunwoo looks traumatized with it.

“Sorry! I didn’t know you’re afraid of heights.” Changmin apologies, rubbing Sunwoo’s back with his worried look. He can’t help himself to not laugh, though.

Sunwoo looks up, forcing an ‘I’m okay’ smile, although his face is too pale to be okay. “I’m fine. As long you’re having fun.” He gets up staggeringly, putting his hat on. “Next game?”

Changmin looks at Sunwoo with his furrowed eyebrows, shaking his head. “Let’s hunt some snacks, first. You need a drink.”

After having fun at Lotte World until around 3 PM, they go to an arcade as Changmin suggests. There, they talk about their childhood games, feeling nostalgic together as they play the games. Sunwoo even shows off his skills, just to be defeated by Changmin several times. The games are well fair enough due to both of their competitiveness. Sunwoo is glad, though, seeing the other being excited.

“I’m starving. Let’s eat!” Changmin sighs, turning his head aside as they leave the arcade.

Sunwoo peeks at his watch. It’s already almost dinner time. “I know a good place. Let’s go!” Just as he did the entire day, he lends a hand again to intertwine their hands. Now, Changmin receives it doubtless with a delighted smile.

Changmin didn’t expect a luxury restaurant for their dinner, so when they enter the restaurant, he’s mesmerized. It’s not an overly luxury one, still it’s fancy with golds and silvers blinged everywhere. There’s even a small garden with a small water fountain at a corner without any shelter. As soon as they enter, a classical music is being played. He whispers to Sunwoo’s ears, “Are you serious we’re gonna eat here? I wear a bit casual!”

“Ah, it’s okay! Don’t bother others!” Sunwoo draws Changmin to a table.

Changmin sits hesitantly after Sunwoo sits and signals him to sit down. Sunwoo calls for the waitress, then he orders short ribs, kimchi stew, and wine for them. Before the waitress goes away, she lights a candle on the table.

“Sunwoo,” Changmin calls low after the waitress goes away. “I know you’re trying, but please don’t eat at this kind restaurant anymore next time.”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows raised at it. “Why? You don’t like it?”

Changmin shakes his head swiftly. “No! I like it. I just want a casual date. Please.”

Sunwoo makes some noise. He chuckles. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

Sunwoo takes a glance at Youngjae and Hyunjae who are watching the TV, observing their face, then clears his throat. “Guys, I have something to tell you.”

A hum came out from Hyunjae’s mouth as he’s still chewing. “Go ahead.” he orders without turning his head.

Sunwoo takes his time, playing with his meals, still observing their face. “I’m dating someone.” He feeds himself a spoon of his meals.

Less than five seconds, he hears them choked and coughed. He smirks quietly. Acting as if he’s shocked as well, he lends glasses of water to them.

“What? Are you serious?” Hyunjae asks with his furrowed eyebrows.

Sunwoo nods. “He’s the same kind as us, if it’s what you’re worrying about.”

Hyunjae glares at Sunwoo. He looks as if there’s something he wants to say, but couldn’t.

“I never knew you’re close with someone nowadays, though?” Youngjae asks, wondering.

Sunwoo looks at Youngjae with a raised eyebrow, leaning backwards and humming. “He’s someone I knew from the project.”

“Ah, I see. What’s his name, again?” he mumbles to himself, his eyebrows met, trying hard to remember the name.

“Changmin.”

“Oh, right! Changmin.” Youngjae gawks at Sunwoo. “I thought you said you’re coworkers?”

Sunwoo shrugs. “Well, he was. It just happened.”

Youngjae doesn’t reply for a moment, looking down at his meals. He suddenly loses his appetite, yet he shouldn’t show it and should finish his dinner, still. Poor the foods for just being watched and ruined by him. He licks his lips. “Then, I can’t wear your clothes anymore?”

Hearing it, Sunwoo’s eyebrows raised slightly out of his consciousness. He glances at Hyunjae, checking his expression. The latter is still glaring at him. He leans forwards to grab and drink his water. “It depends on you. You’re still my pack, and I’m still your leader. If you feel safe by wearing my clothes, then just go on.”

“But–“

“Changmin will understand, I guess. If he isn’t, then it’ll be my deal.” Sunwoo holds Youngjae’s hand, rubbing it gently. “Don’t worry. I’ll explain it well to him later.”

Youngjae stays silent for a while, doubting. Sunwoo is still rubbing his hand, waiting patiently. He sighs, brushing his negative thoughts away, then he nods. “Thanks.”

A soft, relieved smile drew on Sunwoo’s face. He withdraws his hand to move onto Youngjae’s head, patting it light. “No biggie.” He continues his dinner without bothering Hyunjae who’s still glaring at him, he supposes.

Hyunjae turns his head forwards after Youngjae’s really leaving, then glares sharply at Sunwoo. “What are you planning to, Sunwoo?” He grits his tooth.

“Pardon?”

Hyunjae’s gritted tooth tightened. “Don’t pretend as if you don’t know what I mean!”

A tip of Sunwoo’s lip raised a bit. He raises his eyebrow, then shrugs in an ignorant manner. “I just do as our deal.”

“It’s too fast!” Hyunjae looks away and takes a breath before turning his head forwards back. “Are you playing, huh?”

“No? Maybe it’s you who thinks so. I just follow your advice, I’ve said.”

“It ain’t advice, Sunwoo!” Hyunjae hisses, frustrated. His hands run up to his head, intertwisting his fingers through his strands. Then, he turns himself so he isn’t facing Sunwoo anymore. He stays like that for a minute. Sunwoo doesn’t do anything either and just watches Hyunjae’s shoulders raising up and down from the back.

Hyunjae turns around again as he turns his arms down. He inhales a long deep breath before speaks, “Fine, whatever you say so. Still, it’s too fast, Sunwoo. Are you sure you have let your feeling go?”

“I’m trying to.”

“Then, there’s the problem! You’re dating someone when you still don’t have a feeling for him yet. Are you stupid?”

Sunwoo frowns, feeling offended. He glares back sharply at the other. “I would never date someone if I don’t feel any attraction at them. You already know it! And, I’ve attracted with him since then. I don’t remember when, but I know it, and I’m _sure_ with it.” He narrows his eyes. “If you don’t know our story, then better shut your mouth!”

“You–!” Hyunjae stops his fist in its way, glaring straight into Sunwoo’s eyes with his showed gritted tooth and scrunched nose. He snarls in a low-pitched voice, then he looks away and closes his eyes tightly, trying hard to suppress his wolf. Afraid he will transform as his blackout is near, he goes away after warning Sunwoo without opening his eyes, “Ah, seriously! If everything go wrong, it’s your fault. I won’t go into your way.”

Youngjae enters Sunwoo’s dorm after pressing the pin. He frowns and rolls his eyes when he sees trashes spreading in the floor. He puts the clothes into the counter, then bends down to grab the trashes. After cleaning the front hallway, he grabs the clothes and walks in. He rolls his eyes and sighs in irritation as he sees another mess. Sunwoo isn’t here. He cracks his neck aside and stretches his arms forwards, then throws the clothes onto the bed, choosing to clean the room as he is here although he didn’t intend to.

He sighs with a big relieved smile after cleaning the room. He refolds the clothes on the bed before putting it into the cabinet. His hands stop when he’s about to take some other clothes off, wondering if it’s really fine for him to borrow Sunwoo’s clothes.

He feels something strange in himself. He doesn’t know exactly what is it. He admits he’s no one to ban Sunwoo from doing anything he wishes to do. He doesn’t want to do something he himself would be pissed off to someone else, in this case is prohibiting someone to do what they like. Still, it made him somewhat troubled. He should be glad as well, shouldn’t he? It’s finally Sunwoo’s first time to date someone after five years ago, if Youngjae’s memory isn’t wrong. However, that’s also exactly what made him uneasy.

He wonders if Sunwoo didn’t like anyone until now.

He shakes his head, banishing his thoughts. He then chooses few plaid shirts. It will be a bit oversized for him, yet he doesn’t care. He sometimes wears Sunwoo’s clothes since then, though. When he spots a brown hooded jacket with little amount of furs on the end of the hood hanging on, he presses his lips in. It’s Sunwoo’s favorite jacket. Would it be alright if Youngjae borrows it? It should be, right?

After considering for long time, Youngjae takes the jacket off, deciding to wear it for a while until undecided time.


	5. love still goes on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if it's their fate, their love should go on.

As Sunwoo walks on his way to the dance club studio, he unintentionally sees Youngjae with Juyeon and someone he doesn’t know nearby. His heart throbs when he notices Youngjae is wearing his shirt. Unconsciously, he smiles tenderly, relieved with that fact. For a moment, he stands there, thinking whether he should go and greet them or just walk ahead. Finally, he decides to approach them as he wants to remind them Youngjae is still his pack member and they couldn’t take him away in every way.

“Hey, Youngjae!”

Youngjae turns his head at the sound, then smiles brightly. “Oh, hey, Sunwoo!” He turns his body entirely to face Sunwoo.

Sunwoo smiles back, then looks at Juyeon. “Hi, Juyeon.” He bows slightly. Juyeon greets him back. When he glances at another person, his eyebrows raised a bit.

The other person lends his hand immediately, smiling gently. “Hi! I’m Kevin.”

A little noise came out of Sunwoo’s mouth. He shakes their hands, smiling back. “Sunwoo.”

Kevin withdraws his hand, still smiling. “Nice to meet you, Sunwoo! Youngjae already told me about you. So,” He pulls Youngjae to embrace him. “don’t worry! We’ll take care of him well.”

Sunwoo is somewhat flustered, doesn't expect Kevin to react like that out of a sudden. But, he then smiles a bit after sensing the other doesn’t have any bad intention. “Thank you.” He looks at Youngjae who’s still embraced by Kevin. “Where are you going?”

“Canteen.” Youngjae answers shortly. He nudges Kevin a bit, then mutters, “Kevin, can you let me go, please?”

As if he just realizes, Kevin releases Youngjae fast. “Oh, sorry!”

Youngjae shakes his head and smiles a little at Kevin, then he glances at Juyeon, asking him something. The latter just nods. Youngjae looks back at Sunwoo. “You can join us if you haven’t eaten.”

Sunwoo shakes his head. “I have. I’ma go to studio. Sorry, I’ll join you next time.” After he says that, he notices the disappointment from Youngjae’s face. It’s just for a second, though, because Youngjae quickly smiles to hide it.

“Ah, what a pity. It’s okay! We can eat together next time!” Kevin smiles, patting Sunwoo’s arm.

Sunwoo smiles at Kevin. “Sorry. I gotta go now.” he apologies once again before he leaves them.

Sunwoo keeps thinking about the disappointment look that showed up in Youngjae’s face earlier as he walks to the studio. He wonders why Youngjae made such look, consciously or not. Was it because he can’t eat with them? Or, because he’s going to dance studio?

When he arrives at the studio and sees Changmin practicing inside, the thoughts vanished away. He smirks as he walks to the corner. “I guess I will have to watch you practicing until then.” he teases, sitting down after moving his bag to the front.

Changmin rolls his eyes, then he walks to stop the music. “For the shake of the project.”

Sunwoo giggles, staring at Changmin who’s still standing there with a soft smile. “Don’t you have any class?”

Changmin shakes his head. “My last class was before lunch.”

“Lunch?”

“I’ve eaten. I just started practicing when you came.” Changmin glares and hisses low. Sunwoo just chuckles, so Changmin rolls his eyes again in annoyance. “How about you?”

“I still have one more class in an hour.” He leans backwards. “I was about to nap, but I’ll watch you since you’re here.” he teases once again with a smirk.

Youngjae walks in to see another same sight, Sunwoo sitting in front of his PC, now without the headset. When he peeks, he notices Sunwoo is doing his assignment. He sits in front of the table. “I thought you already sleep. I bring some late night snacks.”

Sunwoo turns his chair. “If you thought so, you wouldn’t come.” he says in a sarcastic tone. He stands up, then sits beside Youngjae and digs the plastic bag.

Youngjae giggles. “You’re right.” he mumbles, admitting it quietly. “Well, I just thought you would need these and a friend to spend a stressful night together.”

Sunwoo’s hands stopped for a second. _A friend. Haha, yeah._ He clicks his tongue unintentionally. “That’s nice of you. Thanks.” he thanks Youngjae without taking his eyes off the snacks, continuing digging.

“So, how’s the project going?” Youngjae asks as he peels a chocolate bar’s wrapping.

Sunwoo hums, playing with a potato chips’ bag in his hand. “Still two musics to work. But, almost all of these are still demo. I could get some revisions anytime.”

“Whoah. That’s lot.” Youngjae pats Sunwoo’s shoulder. “You’ve worked hard. I’m sure the festival would be satisfying.”

Sunwoo grins. “Thankie.”

After few minutes of unusual silence with the sounds of them eating as the only sound while they’re in their each mind – they usually bicker around even when they’re eating, Youngjae speaks again timidly as it is his purpose to come over, “How was you with Changmin?”

Hearing it, Sunwoo’s eyebrows raised and his mouth stopped chewing for few seconds. Silently, he curses as he swallows. He clears his throat. “Why do you ask?”

“You never told us about him.”

“It’s not important.”

Youngjae doesn’t reply for few seconds, he suddenly feels not secured, like he’s a no one to Sunwoo. He then sighs heavily. “Why?”

Sunwoo shakes his head slowly. “Just because.” he answers shortly, attempting to avoid answering in details. Not wanting to continue the topic, he grabs and bites a rice cake.

“Then, may I meet him?”

Sunwoo’s eyes darted in panic. He looks at Youngjae with his frowned face. “Why would you? No, you can’t.” He shakes his head right away.

Another heavy sigh came out of Youngjae’s mouth, pissed off a little. “I just want to know him more. Why can’t I?”

Sunwoo inhales as an attempt to calm himself down before shifting himself to face Youngjae. “Youngjae, even I still don’t know him well yet, then how could you, a nobody to him?” He holds Youngjae’s hands. “Sure, I will meet you with him, but later when I think it’s finally a better time, not now. I promise, _really_. So, wait patiently, please.” he asks with a low, gentle voice while rubbing Youngjae’s hands.

Youngjae stares at their hands, then sighs quietly. “Again. You act like this again.” he murmurs, looking away. “You seem like hiding something.”

Sunwoo knits his eyebrows, somewhat afraid Youngjae has find out something. “What do you mean I hide something?” He withdraws a hand to push Youngjae’s chin up gently. “Hey, look at me. I would never intend to hide something if it’s an important thing for me. If I do, it’s for good.” He stares right into Youngjae’s eyes, still holding his chin firmly, not giving him a chance to escape.

Youngjae remains silent and they share an eye contact like that for a while. Although Sunwoo says so, Youngjae can’t believe it easily. His gut catches unusual behaviors of Sunwoo. He knows exactly Sunwoo wouldn’t date someone he doesn’t like. But, he would tell them if there’s someone he likes before he dates that person. That’s why he was shocked when Sunwoo suddenly announced he’s dating someone. So, it’s fair for Youngjae to not believe Sunwoo that simply.

Doesn’t want to complicate things more, Youngjae sighs and nods a little, pretending he is giving up for now.

Juyeon shakes his head as he observes Youngjae’s face who’s sitting on the bench and staring at nothing. He can read something happened to Youngjae as the latter didn’t seem focusing on the present for real. Youngjae even almost hit by a ball because he kept zoning out as they played baseball. Of course, it’s strange of him because he adores sport a lot, just like Juyeon. Juyeon let him be, because he thought it isn’t a big deal as he just knows Youngjae little. But, soon, it concerns him a lot after Youngjae stumbled by his own feet as he walked to the bench after they finished playing.

Juyeon finally approaches him with a bottle of water after sorting baseball equipments out. He sits beside Youngjae, sighing quietly. The latter stays still, oblivious with his existence. He drinks the water without touching his lips onto the bottle mouth. Then, he lends it to Youngjae, offering him. Since the latter doesn’t move, he nudges the bottle to Youngjae’s hand light. It causes Youngjae flinched.

“Oh, thanks.” Youngjae receives it with a faint smile and drinks it just a little amount.

Juyeon glances at Youngjae, observing him once again, before shaking his head and looking forwards. “Is everything good?”

Youngjae’s eyebrows raised a bit. He remains silent for few seconds before answering, “Hmm, good. Why do you ask?”

“You look troubled these days. Well, I don’t know if you could be like this sometimes, but it still seems kinda weird for me.”

Youngjae barely laughs at himself. He turns his head down, eyeing the bottle as he plays with it. “Weird, right? Even me myself don’t know why I’m being like this.” He sighs loud. “I wish I could find out why and how to cope with it.”

Juyeon tilts his head aside, staring at the younger with a wondering look as if he tries to read the person. “It’s a common thing, Youngjae. I also wished that back then, even until now perhaps.” He straightens his torso and rests his hands onto the bench, looking up to the clear blue sky with a glimpse of yellowish. It looks pretty, unlike him and Youngjae. “But, you know what? Every time we wish those things, we are laughed by universe, by the sky, by nature. I don’t know what your problem is and whether our problems are similar, but everything wouldn’t change just by you hoping nonsense. It wouldn’t be reversed by itself.” He sighs and smirks, barely laughing at himself.

Youngjae remains silent, giving thought to Juyeon’s words carefully. Honestly, he is deeply moved by it. He peeks a little at Juyeon, smiling vaguely. He never expect this side of Juyeon. After a moment, he lends the bottle back. “I never know you have this side, either.” he throws the joke back.

Juyeon rolls his eyes, receiving the bottle. “I’m not a perfect person, Youngjae.” Then, they chuckle. He smiles in a relief at Youngjae. “See? It’s better to see your smile instead of your sullen face.” He doesn’t notice the other’s pinkish cheeks as he goes away to grab his bag. When he turns around to face Youngjae, the latter’s cheek has cooled down. “I have a class. Want me to leave you here alone?”

“No! Wait for me!” Youngjae runs to takes his bag and Sunwoo’s jacket. “Thanks, by the way, Juyeon. You consoled me a lot.” he thanks Juyeon when he’s by the taller’s side.

“Hi, bae!” Sunwoo greets as he enters the studio and sees Changmin standing with a paper and a pen on his hands, then he sits on the corner.

Changmin takes a glimpse at him before looking back at the paper. “Hi.” he greets him back with a stoical tone. His eyebrows are knitted hard, though.

Sunwoo tilts his head and raises an eyebrow, wondering if something happened to Changmin. “What’s up, Changmin?”

Instead of answering it, Changmin groans and ruins his hair. “Ah! It’s so frustrating.” He looks at Sunwoo with his desperate eyes and sulky face. “Help me.”

Sunwoo giggles. “How can I help you if I don’t know what’s that frustrating thing?” he teases, shrugging. “Come tell me, then.”

Changmin sighs heavily. “I’m stuck. The formations don’t assemble each other nicely.” he complains, still with his sulky face.

Sunwoo’s eyebrows furrowed, a bit confused. “How does it– C’mere, tell me clearly.” He waves his hand, gesturing the other to sit beside him.

After Changmin shows Sunwoo the doodles of the formations on the paper, they begin sharing their ideas and opinions for a while. They don’t realize how does it coming, but Sunwoo also shares his ideas regarding the movements. It amazes Changmin, and he imagines if they could have a duet dance someday. He never knows Sunwoo is so talented and his imagination is that broad. Yet, the more he knows about Sunwoo’s sides, the more he’s anxious. For some reasons, he is afraid he wouldn’t want to let Sunwoo go when his love gets bigger. However, no matter how hard he tries to, those thoughts wouldn’t disappear. So, he is occupying both the present and the other world.

Later, his stomach grumbles loud, bringing him back entirely to the present. It also stops their activity. Changmin touches his stomach immediately, laughing low as he looks at Sunwoo. “Oh, sorry. My stomach is mad.”

Sunwoo lets a soft giggle out. “You haven’t eaten?” As Changmin shakes his head, Sunwoo adds, “Since when?”

“Lunch time.”

Annoyed, Sunwoo tsks. “Next time, don’t practice before you eat, okay? You need energy. I understand you’re working hard, but what if you collapse?” he nags, worried a lot. Since Changmin remains silent, he sighs, giving up because he feels like he’s a bad person. He takes a glance at his watch. “It’s almost dinner time. Let’s have a dinner, then.”

“Okay, let’s dinner. Then, we can continue again after this.”

Sunwoo glares, shaking his head in a firm manner. “No, just end it here. You can practice again tomorrow. You have all the time. Let’s eat in your dorm. I’ll order a delivery.”

“Why not in your dorm?”

Sunwoo stays silent for few seconds before looking away. “My room is such a mess. We can eat in my dorm next time.”

Changmin rolls his eyes. Knowing it would be a waste since he would lose the debate anyways, he huffs and nods, giving up already.

Sunwoo looks around when he enters Changmin’s dorm. It’s his first time to come over after they’re dating. There’s nothing much different from his own dorm. The only things that distinguish their rooms are the prepositions and some furnitures and decorations. He notices there’s so many details in Changmin’s room, and he doesn’t take a serious look at it since it’s a bit overwhelming for him. Although, he still catches some of them, such as some plants in the front hallway, the portraits of Changmin, a dog, and his family – he guesses, hanging on the wall, and few dolls on the corner of the bed. It’s sweet and refreshing at the same time.

Sunwoo puts the plastic bags onto the table, then walks to take a closer look at Changmin’s portraits. “You were black-haired?” he asks, still scanning the pictures.

“Um, yes.”

Sunwoo takes a glimpse at Changmin with a little soft smile. “You looked good with black.” he praises frankly. “Why did you dye your hair?” This time, he looks at Changmin for real, comparing his present hair, light brown hair, with his past hair.

Changmin just shrugs, seems like wanting to avoid this question. He takes their meals, spicy soft tofu stews, out instead. “I just wanted a new page for my life.”

Sunwoo keeps his eyes on Changmin as he senses something from the latter. “Did something happen?”

“Nah. I just wanted a new look. I dyed it early this year, by the way.” Changmin rolls his eyes. “C’mon. Let’s eat!”

Some thoughts drift away on Sunwoo’s mind. At the end, he sighs and sits beside Changmin, choosing to not ask him yet although he is very curious.

“How many musics are left?” Changmin asks, easing the air as he stirs the stew.

“One more left.” A long relaxed sigh came out of Sunwoo’s mouth. “Finally, our stressful time is near to the end. I hope they don’t give any revisions anymore.” They laughs in a pity at their condition. “Let’s just pretend this dinner as our celebration!”

Changmin tilts his head and smiles gladly, raising his spoon. “Call!” Then, they clank their spoons together light before feeding themselves.

For few minutes later, they talk about anything, like how tiring is it to pretend amongst pure human, how annoying their college life is, their plan to date after the project end, and everything that passes through their mind.

Sunwoo barely giggles when he spots some leftovers on Changmin’s lips. The latter doesn’t seem bothering it and just keeps eating. Sunwoo finds it adorable. He licks his lips slightly. “Changmin.” he calls out. As Changmin hums and looks up, Sunwoo pulls him closer by his arm quickly and gives him a tender peck to suck those leftovers. He really giggles when he sees Changmin’s widened eyes.

Changmin smirks, barely giggles. “You brat.” He puts his spoon sloppily, then immediately cups Sunwoo’s jaws and meets their lips.

Because Changmin suddenly bumps onto him, Sunwoo almost falls backwards. Luckily, he can maintain himself. He smiles delightfully as he moves his hands to grip Changmin’s waist tightly yet gently before kissing him back. Without commanding each other, they’re more than willing to open their mouth and clashing their tongue together. As if it’s a competition, they take a battle on who could make one of them groans just by biting their lips without leaving any scar there. For a long time, they only hear loud clashing lips and soft incoherent noises as they keep kissing until they are breathless. Their mouth may smell like tofu, but no one of them cares about it. Changmin’s hands travel up to tuck into Sunwoo’s locks unconsciously. It causes Sunwoo’s arousal burned up, he tightens his grip as he deepens their kiss.

To take a deep breath, Changmin breaks their kiss. But, not so long after that, Sunwoo connects their lips again. Changmin lets a soft mewl out unintentionally because Sunwoo’s nails scratches his skin accidentally after it slips under the fabric. He gets startled when Sunwoo lifts them up to the bed and lays him down without unhooking their lips. Without any permission, Sunwoo’s fingers trail up on his torso. A low groan came from Sunwoo’s mouth as Changmin tugs his hair by mistake.

Feeling satisfied enough, Sunwoo moves his lips down to kiss, lick, suck, and bite Changmin’s chin, jaw, earlobe, neck, then his shoulder line with a smooth attitude. Changmin whimpers at it with his cracked breaths. His skin is mildly sensitive, so he can’t help it.

“Feel good?” Sunwoo asks low, smirking. Changmin can’t speak because he’s a bit ashamed, so he just nods. Sunwoo’s lip tips raised up more. He combs the other’s hair back with his other hand while resting his elbow beside Changmin’s head. “Then, I’ll make you feel like a most special person for tonight.”

Changmin’s eyes gaped, panicked. “S-Sunwoo, not now, please! I’m not ready ye– Ahng–!” His back curved up when Sunwoo pinches his nipple. In a hurry, he holds Sunwoo’s hand from lowering his training pants. “S– Wait! Please, don’t–“ He can’t finish his sentence as Sunwoo shuts his mouth with his own lips as if he doesn’t hear it.

His toes curled up, his eyes shut tightly, and his eyebrows knitted hard, and he moans low when he senses his cock being squeezed by other hand – he doesn’t register when does his pants pulled down a little and exposing his boxer.

It is Changmin’s moan, but Sunwoo hears it as Youngjae’s moan. A second later, the pictures of them having sex back then appears in his mind abruptly. Sunwoo jolts back and sits up. His lips trembled up and he shivers. Slowly, he turns his head to Changmin to make sure it’s not Youngjae. It indeed is Changmin. He’s still laying down with his t-shirt pulled up and training pants pulled down, exposing half of his torso and his entire boxer. He looks weak with his fuzzy eyes and saliva spreading messily, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths faster.

With his widened eyes, Sunwoo blinks as he turns forwards. Suddenly, he feels dizzy and has a difficulty to breathe properly. It’s like the world around him spin. He gulps nervously. “S-sorry, Changmin.”


	6. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They burn each other's ego, complicating things that should be easier.

Sunwoo keeps his eye on Changmin out of all the people as they prepare to go home after their meeting. He hasn’t talk properly with Changmin since last night, although he wants to apologize. He was a bit late for the meeting because his class was a bit longer – the lecturer was not in a good mood, he supposed. So, when he came, the meeting had started, and he didn’t have a chance to talk with Changmin by themselves.

He hurries when Changmin is about to leave the studio, then he grasps the latter’s arm. “Wait! We need to talk.” he whispers.

Changmin takes a glance around them, then whispers back, “Follow me.”

“Is it about last night?” Changmin ensures after they are in another empty room, far enough from the studio – Sunwoo doesn’t really acknowledge what room is it, but he supposes it is another storage room because there is few used instruments.

“Oh, yup.” Sunwoo gulps, staring straight into Changmin’s eyes, sorting the words out in his mind thoroughly. “I– I’m sorry..” Yet, in the end, only these two words came out.

Changmin smiles a little and shakes his head. “It’s okay. Don’t be sorry.”

“Really?” Sunwoo ensures once again. The other just nods firmly, still smiling. “But, I really feel guilty for leaving you like that.”

“It’s okay, really. I also wasn’t ready yet.”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows raised, a bit shocked. It takes few seconds for him to remember what Changmin said before he left him. He didn’t hear it well, honestly. “A-ah, yes. I’m so sorry.” Sunwoo grins a little, rubbing his arm.

Changmin rolls his eyes, glaring at Sunwoo. “Say sorry once again, I wouldn’t forgive you for real.” He pauses for a moment while Sunwoo chuckles. “Well, I’m still mad, tho.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You left me in a messy and lacking energy state. The food wasn’t finished yet as well. You need to be disciplined, really.”

Sunwoo shuts off for a while, remembering what Changmin meant. Then, he gasps and takes Changmin’s hands in panic. “I’m sorry, really! I’ll clean your room right away, then.”

Changmin brushes Sunwoo’s hands aside lightly, shaking his head. “No need to. I’ve cleaned it. It was our first time, so I’ll leave you be. Just don’t do that again next time, or else I won’t forgive you easily anymore.” he warns with his serious and firm tone.

Immediately, Sunwoo nods. “Okay, okay. I promise.” He raises his pinky, signaling the other to make a pinky promise with him.

Changmin gazes at Sunwoo’s pinky. “Really?” After Sunwoo nods again, now with a firm manner, he raises his pinky. Then, they link their pinky and bump their thumb with a soft smile.

It’s not for the first time Sunwoo unconsciously thinks about Youngjae at the very random time, especially when he is alone. It’s always draining him since then, although he doesn’t do anything. Yet, he couldn’t get rid of it, with whatever way.

Just like this time. He’s on his room, all alone by himself, starting to plan the last music for the project. He is on his another world that he doesn’t register the way he compose the music. He is reminiscing their moments during their high school period, as usual. It was when Hyunjae was far away from them and after Sunwoo falls in love with Youngjae as well. Basically, those times means a lot for him.

However, it’s not so often for him to think about Youngjae out of his consciousness when he’s making music. Usually, he does it when he is fully awake. Moreover, the music is for a big event, not for his personal purpose.

So, when he plays it to spot any errors and hears the melody and beats, he just realizes he’s screwed up.

He groans and closes his eyes as he looks up. “I mess everything! What should I do?” He remains like that for few minutes while biting his lip in anxiety.

“Gosh, why can’t I stop loving you even when I know it’s wrong for us?” he mumbles, barely sobbing. He presses his fists onto his eyes, holding himself from crying.

It’s still less than three weeks since he’s dating Changmin and trying to move on from Youngjae. But, he’s quite impatient. Hyunjae still doesn’t make any move since their deal, causing Sunwoo to wonders what exactly is his plan. And, it agitates him much. He just needs certainty for this time so he wouldn’t take a wrong path. He suddenly needs some comfort to rid those thoughts, and Changmin is the only person that comes into his mind. But, he can’t go to Changmin’s dorm since it’s already late night.

After he takes deep breaths, he opens his eyes, staring blankly at the ceilings with a hint of a miserable smile. Coming back to earth, he shakes his head and sits properly. He sighs deeply for the last time, then plays the music again.

He jams along to the music unconsciously. As if it would never stop, Youngjae appears again in his mind. This time, he doesn’t avoid it and just enjoys in his little pain. The melody really suits his feeling towards Youngjae well, and the latter would like it very much, Sunwoo thinks.

When the music ends in around fortieth second, Sunwoo breathes a tiny sigh out. He knocks the desk lightly, playing with his lip by biting it. The music sounds not bad at all, so he thinks it would be a waste if there’s no one who could hear his art piece. “Should I fine tune this?” he murmurs, asking to himself.

Well, he already created a snippet of it. Besides, he could see it as the last music he creates for Youngjae before he really starts a new life with a new person, perhaps. He tsks quietly, stretches his arms up. “Okay, this is for the last time, I promise.” he mutters, continuing working on.

Changmin’s eyebrows met at his phone as he walks out of his classroom. He hides his phone a little and nods slightly when someone – his classmate, passes by. He steps away, then looks at his phone again after ensuring his surroundings.

Sun

r u in class? 02:37 PM

i guess so 02:50 PM

come to my studio after ur class 02:53 PM

let’s date here 02:53 PM

i have sumn to show ya 02:53 PM

u know the place? 02:54 PM

03:46 PM I know

03:46 PM Otw

He tucks his phone into his jeans pocket, then walks to the music club studio after shifting his bag to a secure position.

The music club studio is nearby the dance club studio, but it’s far away from Changmin’s classroom since it’s in the different wing of campus. So, it takes him almost ten minutes to reach out there with his fastest speed.

Sunwoo is already here when Changmin opens the door. He smiles back at the younger as he walks in. “Have you been waiting for long?”

Sunwoo leans his back to the sofa and shakes his head, still smiling. “It’s okay.” He shifts himself, patting beside him. “Come here!”

Changmin brings himself to sit beside Sunwoo, looking at the latter’s laptop. It’s showing a random website. When Changmin takes a look closer, he laughs because it is Sunwoo’s major’s students website, and it’s displaying the details of an assignment. “You were doing your assignment?” He glances at Sunwoo. “Cute.”

Sunwoo’s smile changes to a shy one. He rubs his arm, shrinking a bit. “Well, it’s a smart way to overcome boredom?”

Changmin locks Sunwoo’s head with his arm, then ruins his hair with his other hand. Sunwoo holds the other’s arms, trying to escape. “It’s weird you’re being a diligent student. Are you possessed?” He finally releases his lock after Sunwoo coughs and smacks his arm.

Sunwoo rubs his neck, still coughing. “You’re stronger than I thought.” he said, somewhat shocked. “Shouldn’t you be proud, though?”

Changmin laughs, throwing another tease, “You? I should be proud?”

While Sunwoo protests which Changmin doesn’t give interest purposely, he looks around. The studio is not big and not small either. It looks so neat with every spot organized very well. On the wall, there’s so many posters and club members’ photos and polaroids. The members look having so much fun with their big joyful smile and laugh drew on their face. Changmin’s lips tips raised a little because of it. It looks so bright, colorful, and alive. It’s his first time to come here, but he doesn’t know why, the ambience gives him comfort and familiarity.

He takes a glimpse at Sunwoo. “Your studio is comfortable enough. Why didn’t you come here instead of mine?”

“Well, I’ve said before.” Sunwoo turns his body facing the laptop, doing something.

Changmin doesn’t reply again, continuing observing the room. When he turns his head to a corner, he notices there’s another room. “What is that?”

Sunwoo glances at the spot before looking back at the laptop. “Studio, a _real_ studio.”

Changmin hums long, fascinated. Finally, he really looks at Sunwoo with his interested gaze. “Can I go there?”

“Later. I wanna show you something right now.” Sunwoo leans backwards a bit without touching his back to the sofa, pressing the play button.

A slow melody from an electric guitar surrounds the room. After few seconds, the electric guitar sounds harmonizes with the smooth sounds of a bass and a keyboard. It’s shockingly shooting and relaxing. There’s less instruments used in the music. Changmin rarely hears a high beat, even the drum is beating in a light way. He raises his eyebrows and widens his eyes. It’s quite different from the other musics. It reminds him to the sea at some points.

When the music ends with another drum beats harmonizing with the keyboard sounds, Changmin blinks, still processing his mind. “It’s different, Sunwoo.”

A little glad smile drew on Sunwoo’s face. He purrs unconsciously. “Well, it is.” he murmurs. Then, he shakes his head slightly and clears his throat. “So, how is it?”

Changmin remains silent for a while, not answering as he tries to understand the music. He can’t grasp the meaning of it, though. It’s somehow unexpected of Sunwoo, although it still suits the atmosphere of the spring. “Is it for the last music?”

“Gotcha!”

“Ah, I see.” Changmin presses his lips together, suddenly feeling anxious. “It’s surprising. I mean, I guess everyone wouldn’t expect this kind music since all of your musics are sort of upbeat.”

Sunwoo is nodding along. “It would be, right? I’m thinking to put this as the closing.” He looks right into the other’s eyes. “I gave a special effort into this one. Well, I did to every music. But, this one is quite _different_ , just as you said. So, I hope you would create a special choreo as well. Can you?”

Changmin stares back, staying silent. For real, he is extremely anxious, and he feels inferior at himself for not being able to read the meaning of the _special_ one. However, the other’s eyes is still on his, and he seems hundred percent serious. Just by that small gesture, all of his negative thoughts brushed away. He sighs silently. “Sure.”

Sunwoo smiles in relief, then he gives a quick peck to Changmin. “Thankie.”

Changmin hums and smiles faintly. “So, can I go to that studio?” he asks, changing the topic as soon as possible.

“Oh, right.” Sunwoo stands, looking down. “Let’s go!”

Changmin stands and follows him immediately, smiling excitedly. When he really enters the studio, he can’t help but to gasps, impressed albeit the studio is just a common small-sized recording studio. He has always been wanting to see the inside of the recording studio.

“Are you this excited?” Sunwoo asks, a small smile showed up on his face by seeing the other’s sparkling eyes. Changmin just nods, still turning his head around, catching every details. So, Sunwoo adds after giggling softly, “Whenever I want to produce a song, I always come here.” He steps in, walking closer to the table, then he trails his finger onto the surface.

“You also produce songs? With your own voice?”

“Not only my voice, but mostly, yup.”

A vague wow came out from Changmin’s mouth. Why does he keep finding out Sunwoo’s other talents and sides? It causes him feels inferior yet proud at the same time. “I want to hear your voice.”

Sunwoo gasps subtly, rubbing his nape and laughing a tiny giggle. “I’m a bit shy to show you.” He sighs after seeing Changmin’s hopeful eyes. “Okay, then. Just a little bit, okay?” He giggles as Changmin screams a yay in excitement.

He clears his throat and makes some noises. Then, he sings a bit chorus of I Like Me Better by Lauv while staring straightways Changmin’s eyes and smiles at him. The latter is jamming along with him and smiling back.

“Okay, that’s it!”

Changmin frowns. “Ah, why? Your voice is so good. There’s no reason for you to be shy.”

“I don’t know.” Sunwoo pulls Changmin out of the recording studio in hurry. “If you wanna hear more, I’ll let you listen to my songs.”

Changmin scrunches his nose, but then his eyes sparked. “Really? I wanna listen to it now, then!”

Just by seeing the other being so passionate to listen his own produced songs, Sunwoo lets a subtle giggle out. “It’s in a folder titled ‘Prod. Sunwoo’. All of my songs are in there, you can find it easily. I need to go to toilet.” He pats Changmin’s head light before going out of the studio.

Without any delay, Changmin half-runs towards the sofa. Then, he searches the folder. Sunwoo is right, he can find it easily. As soon as he opens the folder, he’s amazed with how many songs are produced by Sunwoo. He guesses the latter has been diving passionately onto the music field for long time. His eyes moves up and down as he scrolls the files, reading every title of these carefully, considering which song should he hear first. He unintentionally reads the details of the song that consists the names on the behind. There’s some other names besides Sunwoo as well. He knows some of them from the project, they are the club members.

His eyebrows raised a bit and a tiny ‘oh’ came out when he reads a file. The title is different from the others. He mumbles the title out, “Hatred. Hm? What is it?” When he reads the date of the file, it’s produced early this year, and this is the lastest song in the folder based on the date modified sorting. Full of his curiousity, he plays the song.

It starts smoothly, just like the music he heard earlier. It’s still a bit unlike, though, with the different beats and arrangements, and Sunwoo’s voice on it. Changmin’s lips tips raised as Sunwoo’s voice goes into his ears. The song tells a lovely moment between two people, he guesses through the verse 1. But, soon, he realizes that he may be wrong when it’s already in the chorus. The smile on his face faded away slowly. Needs to verify his guessing, he rewinds the chorus.

_Why am I such a fool loving you, when you said goodbye (Goodbye) // You gave me dual block, no escape // I’m stuck, standing like a fool // Stop giving me more pain // Why do you, when I said hello (Hello) // I really hate you so much, so thank you // I want to let you go, yet I’m blinded // Don’t leave me, I’m sorry // Please love me like I do_

It’s so clear it isn’t about a lovely moment. His shoulders dropped and he breathes heavily, muting his ears from the next verses. Sunwoo was singing those verses with his deep emotional voice, as if it is his true story and he’s trying to convey the message to someone. His negative thoughts passes by forcefully again as he searches who is _that_ someone.

He flinched when a hand passes in front of his face to press the pause button abruptly. When he looks up, it’s Sunwoo. The latter’s expression is flat and illegible, though. He gulps hardly as Sunwoo sits and closes the music application.

“Was I a bit long?” Sunwoo asks with his toneless voice. He tilts his head aside, staring at Changmin with his raised eyebrows. “I see you already heard my song. Is it nice?”

Changmin gets flustered at it. “O-oh, yes.” he lies, forcing a smile.

Sunwoo is talking about something, but Changmin doesn’t give an attention on it, dwelling on the song earlier instead. If it was produced early this year, that means something happened to Sunwoo not so long, and Changmin could be involved as well, although he really doesn’t acknowledge it. He feels absurdly frightened.

He licks his dry lips. “Sunwoo.” He looks up, then pauses for a while, is timid to continue his sentence. The other waits in patient, remaining his attention on the older. “Regarding Hatred, is it about your past?”

There’s no answer from Sunwoo. He still keeps his stoical, unpredictable gaze on Changmin’s eyes before looking away and turning back to his laptop. He seems like want to avoid the topic.

Changmin breathes a long heavy, uneasy sigh. He bites his lip and frowns his eyebrows. “Answer me!”

“What to answer? There’s nothing to tell you.”

Changmin brushes his hair back, almost shedding tears. “You make me feel insecure, Sunwoo! Are you sure there’s nothing about this? You sang like it was your life and you couldn’t live without it. Besides, I don’t know anything about your story. Stop being lik–“ He falls backwards as Sunwoo shuts him with his lips. Before his back touches the sofa, another hand holds his back. He mumbles and pushes Sunwoo off, breaking their kiss. “Don’t kiss me when I’m talking!” He glares and hisses.

“You’re too noisy. I don’t wanna ruin our date with an argue.”

Changmin rolls his eyes. “Still, we need to talk about it sometimes, Sunwoo.” He bites his lip hard, struggling to hold the tears from falling off his eyes. Then, he pushes Sunwoo harder, but the latter stays still.

“What do you want me to do? I’m trying my best to show my affection to you. If you feel not secured, it’s just your feeling.” Sunwoo pushes them down together without pressing the other. He withdraws his arm from Changmin’s back, then caresses his cheek. “Don’t cry, please. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you my story sooner. Don’t worry.”

Out of his consciousness, Changmin nudges a bit to Sunwoo’s hand, craving the touch. He closes his eyes, not replying for a while. He isn’t satisfied enough with Sunwoo’s answer, honestly. But, the latter isn’t wrong. They shouldn’t ruin their date by fighting. They were having their moment. After sighs quietly, he nods.

Although he doesn’t open his eyes, he can sense Sunwoo is smiling. The latter pulls himself down, embracing Changmin gently while his head leans between Changmin’s neck and shoulder, facing the latter’s face. He hugs him back, humming softly. They stay like that for a moment as Sunwoo cards his strands.

“I wanna kiss you. Your lips tastes delicious.” Sunwoo whispers vaguely.

Changmin’s eyes opened at it. He tilts his head a bit. He puffs, barely giggles, when he spots Sunwoo’s pouted lips. “Since when do you ask first? Rest properly, then!”

Sunwoo obeys right away with his glee smirk. Then, Changmin cups and pulls his face closer to hook their lips together. As always, their kiss is the bold and strong one. And, Changmin never complains, even once. It’s his first time to find someone as spontaneous, daring, and adventurous as Sunwoo.

His arms and legs twine around Sunwoo’s neck and legs as the latter digs his fingers into his hair. Then, he whines when Sunwoo bites his lip a bit roughly.

Their moment is ruined by Sunwoo’s phone ringing. With a loud hiss, Sunwoo breaks their kiss and snatches his phone from the table. Then, he turns it off without taking a look at the screen to see who is the caller.

“Stop!” Changmin pushes Sunwoo’s shoulder, not allowing him to kiss him again. “Why do you turn it off? You should accept it! What if it’s something urgent?”

Sunwoo grumbles, pouting his lips. “We’re having our moment. I can check it later. Please.” he whines.

Changmin inhales a deep breath, then exhales it loud, rolling his eyes. “Do as you wish. I’ll lose every argue with you, though.”


	7. Ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae unintentionally brings the other side of Sunwoo's ego out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> there is a little graphic of violence. not really a violence, it's a leaded one, but it might trigger you. so please beware! the last thing i want is for your mental to be affected.

Sunwoo turns his phone on as he walks out of the studio after Changmin was gone long time ago because he must teach the dancers his choreo. The phone is still rebooting for few seconds, so he continues walking away. There’s still many people although it’s already evening and there’s no classes anymore, since this side of the campus is for the clubs in particular. He bows his head and smiles slightly at the people he knows when they pass by him.

His phone vibrated, signaling the rebooting has finished. Still walking, he takes a peek at his phone. There’s many thumbnails of missed calls and unread messages notifications popped up on his screen. He stops abruptly. Bless, there’s no one behind him. Then, he raises his phone more, taking a closer look. There’s 2 missed calls from Youngjae and 7s from Hyunjae, also 14 unread messages from Hyunjae. Suddenly, he isn’t feeling good. Something bad might have happened, because Hyunjae unusually spammed him a lot. Also, the lastest message from him that indicates he’s furious at Sunwoo showed up as the thumbnail. He gulps nervously when he sees the first missed call, it was when he was kissing with Changmin and their moment got ruined. It is from Youngjae. After inhaling long deep breaths, he taps the message notification.

hyunjae

where r u? 04:31 PM

youngjae called me 04:31 PM

but its juyeon 04:31 PM

did something happen to him? 04:32 PM

sunwoo? 04:36 PM

can you check him out? 04:36 PM

why cant your number be reached out? 04:40 PM

hello? 04:42 PM

im having an appt for thesis rn 04:43 PM

nvm, ill go. the lecturer postponed 04:51 PM

fuck u 04:59 PM

WHERE ARE YOU? 04:59 PM

come to basketball field 05:04 PM

right now. 05:04 PM

Without replying anything, Sunwoo turns around and walks in his fastest speed quickly, ignoring his friends’ greetings when he passes by them. Many possible bad scenarios emerged in his mind along with his regret. It’s terrifying him enough.

When he’s finally arrived at the basketball field, he sees Youngjae sitting on a bench and touching his shoulder as he looks up at Hyunjae with his anxious eyes and bitten lip. Next to him, there’s Juyeon rubbing his back, saying something vaguely audible at one of them – Sunwoo is uncertain. He’s relieved because Youngjae seems fine, at least for him. But, then, he feels somehow afraid when he looks at Hyunjae. The latter is walking back and forth with his crossed arms and frowned face.

Few seconds later, they turn their head at Sunwoo, instantly are aware with his presence. Hyunjae stops and throws his death stare at Sunwoo, whereas Youngjae gaped and holds Hyunjae’s wrist immediately, preventing him from approaching Sunwoo.

Quick to grasp the situation, Sunwoo walks closer to them with some gaps from Hyunjae, looking down at Youngjae with his worried look. “Are you okay?” Youngjae nods in tiny, but Sunwoo is still not sure. “Really?”

Still holding Hyunjae’s wrist, Youngjae nods firmly and draws a smile. “I’m fine.”

“What happened?”

“He got hit by a ball on his shoulder while playing.” Juyeon explains shortly before the others could speak. It brings everyone’s attention on him. “I’m so sorry.”

Wants to speak up the truth, Youngjae opens his mouth and shifts a bit, causing a pain in his shoulder. He instantly yelped in tiny and withdraws his arm to hold his shoulder. Before anyone could ask him, he smiles. “I’m fine. Just a little wrong move.” He massages his shoulder lightly, looking up at Sunwoo. “It wasn’t Juyeon, don’t be mad at him, please. I’m really okay. It will be healed in few days.” He takes Sunwoo’s hands. “Sorry if I made you worry.”

Sunwoo’s shoulder fell down, he sighs in relief. He holds back Youngjae’s hand. But, when he is about to speak, Hyunjae plucks his hand off Youngjae’s. “We need to talk.” he demands, his tone is firmly deep. Then, he drags Sunwoo away to somewhere swiftly.

“Hyunj–“ Youngjae stands up, is about to chase and hold Hyunjae back, but then his wrist is held by Juyeon. He turns his head at Juyeon. The latter just shakes his head. “But–“

“They need a space for themselves. Just let them be.”

Youngjae whines at Juyeon’s words, barely sobbing. Yet, he couldn’t do anything because the grip on his wrist is tight enough to hold him back.

When they are in the changing room, Hyunjae throws Sunwoo off against the locker roughly, causing a loud slam sound. Without giving the other time to cope with the pain, he twists Sunwoo’s shirt collar into his strong palm. His eyebrows are furrowing hard and his gaze is sharp. Sunwoo can sense the other’s hard muscles through his fist.

“Where were you?”

“Not your business.”

“Sunwoo!” Hyunjae tautens his twist, pressing Sunwoo back against the locker more. It gives Sunwoo more ache in his back and neck, also difficulty to breathe. Although he is a true alpha, Hyunjae is still strong enough since his body is a bit more muscular than Sunwoo’s. Plus, his temper is in a highest rate. An angry werewolf is much dangerous since they would become more powerful, no matter what their status is.

Sunwoo’s nose scrunched, he raises his head up a bit, searching for the air desperately. “I was with Changmin.” he answers with his weakened, cracked voice.

“He isn’t our pack!”

There is no answer from Sunwoo as he keeps sucking the air, now with his hand clutching Hyunjae’s wrist, struggling to escape. As if he just grasps the aim, Hyunjae loosens his twist without releasing it. Instantly, Sunwoo takes a sharp breath and coughs.

“He is my boyfriend.” he stresses the last word. “Is it wrong if I wanna have a date with him?”

“Then, why couldn’t your number be contacted?” Hyunjae yells, gritting his tooth.

“I don’t wanna ruin my date.”

“Is Youngjae the one?”

Sunwoo’s face frowned, somewhat offended. “You’re extravaggerating it, Hyunjae! He looks fine and doesn’t mind it.”

“He could lie to us!”

Sunwoo shares a sharp eye contact with Hyunjae, not saying anything for a while. With that little gap, they can sense their breaths and fire from both their ego and alter ego. That fire triggers and wakes their wolf up by accident. Slowly, the room is filled by the sea, hot chocolate, peppermint, and thyme scents as its get stronger.

“Why does it matter a lot to you?” Sunwoo asks with a hiss.

“And, why didn’t you prioritize him?” Instead answering Sunwoo, Hyunjae turns the question. “I’ve said to watch him out!” he shouts right in front of Sunwoo’s face. Unconsciously, he growls, showing his fangs off.

The growl is replied by another growl. But, it’s just for a second as Sunwoo shuts his mouth, holding his wolf down. He closes his eyes for few seconds and inhales a deep breath before glaring at Hyunjae’s eyes again. He isn’t close yet to his blackout since his mind is full with many questions that start with _why_ s. “Are you using my situation?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just say it. You’re afraid Youngjae would be taken away by Juyeon, right? And, since I’m dating Changmin now, you’re using me to prevent it. Is that your plan, huh?”

Hyunjae answers it with an aggressive snarl. The twist are strengthening abruptly, and Sunwoo is pushed more against the locker. The veins and the muscles on Hyunjae’s skin emerged up, intimidating back Sunwoo’s nerve since his has being tested earlier.

Sunwoo snorts and raises his head more. His hand clutches Hyunjae’s wrist again with the raisened power until his nails sank, accidentally scratching Hyunjae’s skin. He acknowledges Hyunjae is on his way to transform to his wolf, so he’s so nerved and afraid.

“Transform, and something bad would happen to you!” he warns, quick to finish the sentence.

It seems like his warning doesn’t alert Hyunjae as the snarl keeps raising up aggressively and the clench keeps tightening. His other hand goes up hurrily, struggling to release the twist desperately with both his hands. He takes a prompt gaze at Hyunjae’s skin. The fur isn’t emerging yet. Hyunjae is still in between his ego and alter ego state – the transition from human to wolf, though of course he is near to blackout.

It’s hard for him since he’s breathless, but Sunwoo manages to speak up before the fur emerged, “Youngjae would be traumatized with you!”

By that, the twist loosened slowly before the hand lets go the collar. Sunwoo spontantly bends down and touches his neck, coughing loud and panting hard. He doesn’t see it, but he knows Hyunjae is getting back to his ego entirely through the scent.

“W-what happened?”

The not-so-stupid question gives Sunwoo much chills. He shivers, still coughing. _No way, was it his wolf? But, his form was still a human._

Youngjae stands and runs in hurry towards Sunwoo and Hyunjae as they come back. He gulps anxiously when he notices their dark expression. He gasps after spotting the red mark between Sunwoo’s neck and chest along with his messy shirt collar. “What is it?”

Sunwoo quickly hides it with his hand, shaking his head with no smile. Before Youngjae asks anything again, he walks away. “Thanks, Juyeon.” he thanks Juyeon tonelessly as he passes by him.

“Sunwoo, wait!” Youngjae half-runs, catching Sunwoo up.

There is no conversation between them for minutes as they walk through the corridors with Youngjae following Sunwoo behind him.

“Why did you call me?” Sunwoo asks with his flat tone and maybe expression, still walking forwards.

Youngjae blinks, doesn’t expect that kind question. “It wasn’t me! It was Juyeon, he insisted to call you guys, although I said I’m fine. I’ve tried to stop him. Sorry..”

Another uncomfortable silence comes back, unnerving Youngjae a lot. He rubs his fingers as he searches for any topic to talk about to break the silence.

“Ah, seriously!” Sunwoo stops and turns his body abruptly, facing Youngjae. The latter almost bumps himself to Sunwoo, but fortunately he is quick to respond. Sunwoo glares at him. “Stop following me!”

Youngjae’s eyebrows knitted, he huffs a bit loud. “My dorm is the same way as yours!”

Sunwoo growls low, looking up and putting his hand onto his eyes, covering it. Then, Youngjae reads his lips cursing a tiny silent _fuck_ out. He stays like that for a moment before bringing his arm down. Then, he cracked his neck aside and rolls his eyes, looks _so_ irritated. “Whatever.” He turns forwards and continues walking. “Keep the distance from me!”

As a revenge, Youngjae raises a fist towards Sunwoo, cursing _fuck you too_ silently. He huffs before taking steps again, carefully keeping the distance from Sunwoo. Actually, Sunwoo’s attitude scares him – and he wonders what happened earlier between him and Hyunjae, but he is annoyed as well at Sunwoo thinking he’s following him.

Youngjae looks around as he takes slow steps on his way through the corridor, searching for Sunwoo. After that day, none of them – Sunwoo and Hyunjae, talks to him about anything, even if it’s just rants about the bad meals at the canteen or the annoying lecturers. Nothing at all.

So, here he is, going to either music or dance club music in an aim to meet Sunwoo. He needs to know why they, or at least one of them acts like that.

He could just come over to their dorm, but he chooses to ask in the public place because he acknowledges they wouldn’t speak easily in the dorm.

He makes a tiny noise and walks faster when he spots Sunwoo walking ahead. “Sunwoo!” he calls out, screaming. The called one doesn’t turn his head, though, as if he doesn’t hear it – probably, he does it intentionally. Youngjae tsks, peeved because he can’t scream again or he would looks like a crazy person among the crowds. He tails Sunwoo with his fast and wide steps.

He barely half-runs toward Sunwoo as the latter finally arrives in front of the dance club studio. But, he stops right away as if the time around him stops first after noticing the shift on Sunwoo’s facial expression. It was dark and gloomy, and he looked so troubled. And, after he opens the door and peeks inside, a bright smile – or a silly smirk if Youngjae is being honest, grew up.

Of course, the cause of the shift is Changmin, Youngjae knows it well though it is just a guess. An obvious guess.

It’s a lie if Youngjae says he doesn’t grasp the changes of Sunwoo and Hyunjae along with their bond after that day. He notices it very well. Both Sunwoo and Hyunjae are weirdly avoiding each other and Youngjae, in particular. It pisses him off a lot, because he never likes losing something in general. He has been trying to reach them out and ask what happened that day, because god, the last thing he wants is for anything bad occured between them.

Yet, the others seem don’t want to understand his concern – or they just really don’t.

Feeling nauseated as he senses his belly is full of butterflies, he backs off and turns his body around. Then, he walks to anywhere. He doesn’t know exactly where does he want to go, he just wants to go away as far as possible. This odd feeling, again, he doesn’t know exactly what is it, and he hates it.

Chanhee nudges his elbow against Juyeon’s beside him while observing Youngjae in front of them. He tips his chin forwards, gesturing Juyeon to look forward. Their gestures causes Kevin to tilt his head to the side as well. Youngjae is looking down at his lunch, but with his blank gaze, ignoring the meals and just playing with it lazily. He doesn’t seem like have an appetite at all.

Juyeon sighs, then shakes his head at Chanhee. “I don’t know.” he mutters in kind of ignorant manner.

Chanhee’s nose frowned up a bit at the very disappointing answer. He shifts forward until his torso touches the edge of the table, resting and crossing his arms on the table. “Youngjae?”

Since Youngjae remains still, Kevin nudges at his arm lightly as a help. “Hey, Youngjae!” he whispers softly.

Youngjae flinched, looking up at Kevin with his raised eyebrows as he blinks twice. He turns his head at Chanhee immediately after Kevin signals him to do it quietly. “Oh, sorry. Was I spacing out again?”

It is a rhetorical question, of course.

“Why don’t you eat? Does the meals taste bad?” Chanhee asks. Youngjae shakes his head, smiling faintly just for a second. Chanhee’s eyebrows knitted, quite confused. “Then, why? Did something happen? You look so blue lately. Juyeon even said you got injured several times. I know you aren’t our member, but I’m genuinely worried for you.”

Youngjae doesn’t answer anything and just stays looking at his meals, so Kevin embraces him gently, massaging his biceps to provide him ease. He nods and smiles tenderly at Youngjae after the latter stares up at him. “It’s okay. We’re here for you, so just tell us, okay?”

Chanhee and Kevin’s attitude really ease Youngjae at some points. The harmony of Juyeon’s pack amazes him all the time that he feels so envy. If only he has the same kind of pack, he wouldn’t be stumbling into so many troubles and suffering all alone by himself right now. It’s not like he isn’t grateful for having Hyunjae and Sunwoo, even with their intimacy for more than ten years. He just wishes those times never occur in his life, ever.

Youngjae breathes quietly, pressing his lips together inside as he muffles his purr. “I don’t know if it’s really okay to tell you, because it’s a matter of my pack.” he mumbles the last word.

The others raise their eyebrows, then share an eye contact, saying something silently by telepathing. They nod at each other before Chanhee clears his throat and takes Youngjae’s hand into his hands. “It’s okay. We won’t judge you and the others, also we’ll keep it as a secret.”

Youngjae looks up at Chanhee’s eyes. The latter’s eyes aren’t lying. He nods at Youngjae, encouraging him again.

After a moment of silence, Youngjae sighs a little. “I don’t know if it’s just my gut or what, but I notice so many changes of them. Juyeon already knows it, but it’s just a moment. Before that, we’ve been in some unusual situations.” Youngjae sighs and smirks, barely laughing at himself. “It’s like, either one of them, or probably both of them, hide something important from me. And, I feel not secured by that, like I’m a nobody to them.”

Kevin keeps massaging his biceps whereas Chanhee rubs and massages his hand. The others don’t cut him off and hear him in patient. So, he feels secured and relaxed with them. He smiles a little at them as a gratitude, continuing, “Also, when one of them begins to spend time with someone else which is of course not me, I feel something odd in myself. I don’t know exactly what that feeling is. It’s weird, right? Because that person isn’t like me and he could just befriend with others freely, and I wouldn’t be triggered. Yet, I am.” He cries a tiny groan, biting his lip lightly. “I just assume it’s because he changes a lot? I don’t know, but I think so.” He looks at Chanhee miserably. “What should I do?”

Instead answering him, Chanhee looks at Juyeon. For a while, they’re debating silently with their head and eyes as their body gesture to order and ensure each other to tell Youngjae. It’s a funny sight, honestly, but Youngjae doesn’t have a mood to laugh at them. After Juyeon shrugs and says _I don’t know_ assertively without actually saying it for the last time, Chanhee frowns and glares at him, annoyed.

Chanhee turns his head back to Youngjae, humming softly with a warm smile. “We could, Youngjae, we could still be triggered although our nature doesn’t have a capability to theoretically. Well, it rarely happens, since it only happens if you have a _strong_ bond. Note it, a _strong_ bond. That only means that person is special for you.” He withdraws a hand to pat Youngjae’s head gently. “I think you must talk to him, about him changing and how it triggered you.”

Youngjae sighs heavily. “I doubt he would talk easily. I’ve tried to bring the issue few times, but he always avoided it.”

“At least, try it for the last time. Bring it carefully but assertively. I think you guys have a stronger bond than you think, Youngjae. Talk to him before it worsened.” Chanhee encourages him once again.

By that, Youngjae remains silent, considering Chanhee’s advice.

_Special? Is he really a special person for me?_

“Is your shoulder okay, by the way? Is it recovering well?”

Youngjae glances at his shoulder by the question, then he nods. “It is. It has recovered since days ago.”

“See? Juyeon, you really shouldn’t have called them!”

Youngjae takes a long deep breath, calming his nerve, before he presses the pin and enters Sunwoo’s dorm. After Chanhee urged him yesterday, he decides to talk to Sunwoo. As usual, the front hallway is messy with some trashes spreading on the floor. His nose scrunched a bit. He then walks in, ignoring those trashes as he doesn’t come over with an intention to clean up, to find out another mess and Sunwoo laying down on his bed with his phone.

“Why do you come?” Sunwoo asks in his flat tone without taking his eyes off the screen. “I’ll clean my room by myself, you don’t need to.”

“I’m not going to clean.”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows frowned. He turns his phone down slightly, looking at Youngjae with a questioning look. “Then?”

Youngjae takes few steps closer, not close enough with the other since he’s somewhat afraid. “I want to talk with you.”

“About?”

“About what happened to you lately.”

Sunwoo furrows his eyebrows more, sitting up and facing Youngjae. “What do you mean?”

Youngjae doesn’t answer for a while in purpose, remaining their eye contact. He shrugs and sighs quietly. “You’re changing a lot.”

It takes Sunwoo few seconds before he laughs in a sarcastic tone. “No? Which point do I change?” He stands, closing their gap before pushing Youngjae toward the front hallway. “I don’t want to talk about it, neither want to see you. Go away!”

Youngjae yanks Sunwoo’s hands away hard, glaring at him. “Yeah, you are! I know something happened between you and Hyunjae. I’m so worried, so please tell me!” He’s struggling to stay still and defend himself from being pushed away.

Sunwoo looks away as he closes his eyes and inhales sharply. He no longer tries to push Youngjae away and lets his arm hanging on the air. “Don’t you know the cause of how everything is going on right now?” He stares straightways Youngjae’s eyes with a sharp glare. “It’s you!”

Youngjae gasps subtly. He senses his eyes are burning and wetting, and his lips are trembling. The way Sunwoo yells and glares at him hurt him, like its attack right into his heart. He gulps his tears down, trying hard to holding his tears from falling off his eyes. “W-why is it me?” he asks with his weak, cracked voice.

Sunwoo remains silent for a while. He’s trying to cool his head down, but his attempt isn’t successful. After Youngjae mentioned Hyunjae, his alter ego suddenly took him over, fighting with his ego. His ego was triggered as well, though.

“Yes, it’s you. You don’t think so?” Sunwoo laughs low. “How funny you are. You should’ve known it better. If only you didn’t get closer with that true alpha, we wouldn’t be in this term. Didn’t you say you can feel what we feel?”

Youngjae meets his eyebrows together. “I– But, you’ve met him? I thought you entrusted me to him?” He looks at anything but Sunwoo’s eyes, is afraid because the other maintains his sharp, intimidating glare at him. “You guys are too busy with your own work, so I– I’m lonely. That’s why I approached him.”

“You misunderstood.” Sunwoo shakes his head and grits his tooth. “Then, if I say I entrust you to them, don’t ever come to see me until I say to come! You make everything harder for me!”

“But, they aren’t my pack! Am I that hard for you to be responsible for?”

Sunwoo takes a long sharp breath, growling deeply. “Then, leave my pack and join them!” he shouts, snarling in aggressive manner. His fangs are displaying clearly.

Youngjae flinched. He can feel himself and his wolf shrinking down, shifting to a defense mode. His lips trembles more and his eyes wet more, now he shivers as well. He gulps hard when he spots Sunwoo’s veins and muscles emerging up, senses the latter’s heavy breaths, and smells the fresh scent in overly way.

Youngjae shakes his head slowly, a tear falls down to his cheek. “You really are changing.” he murmurs weakly, turning himself to leave the dorm before Sunwoo could do or say anything.

Sunwoo takes a moment glaring at nothing before he comes back to his consciousness. When he does, he almost stumbles as he feels the dizziness in his head. He hurries to the edge, leaning his hand on the wall to withstand on his feet. He closes his eyes tightly and groans in his tiny and low voice as he holds his head with another hand, panting hard.

It’s not so often for him to struggle on a battle between his human and wolf. When he does, he could easily keep his ego on, not giving his alter ego an opportunity to take over. But, earlier, he strangely couldn’t distinguish his ego and alter ego, causing his wolf to wake up in that very short time.

He pants harder, the dizziness in his head is increasing. He needs a comfort, _right away_. And, once again, Changmin is the only one that comes in his mind first.

Half-running to his bed, he searches for his phone in a hurry. When he finally finds it, he snatches it carelessly and texts someone.

bae

11:22 PM can i go to ur dorm rn?


	8. walkin' in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are yearning to be with each other again, just like when they were together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bgm: the boyz - walkin' in time

Changmin is catching every details of Sunwoo’s face who’s still sleeping facing him, trailing his finger from the other’s forehead down to his chin carefully and smoothly so he wouldn’t wake up. He has observed Sunwoo’s face before, but that was when he is awake. Now, he is asleep and giving the calming vibe, so Changmin is taking this chance to have a closer look. He already likes Sunwoo, but he likes it more when Sunwoo is in his peaceful state. A small soft smile grew up on his face when his eyes stop at Sunwoo’s thick lips which is opening slightly.

It is his first time to sleep together with Sunwoo, and he never thought the experience would be this soothing. Well, except for the last night part. Last night, when he opened the door, he instantly saw Sunwoo standing right there, looked so weak with his hazy eyes as he panted heavily. After Sunwoo mumbling Changmin’s name, he dropped himself onto the other. Changmin was so shocked and almost fell backward, but he luckily could maintain his balance and quickly held Sunwoo.

 _“I almost transformed.”_ was the last thing that Sunwoo said last night, and he hasn’t said anything since then, even after Changmin gave him a water since it is the only thing he could provide in his dorm, and a hug while wrapped by the blanket to ease him.

Of course, Changmin is so worried. Sunwoo once told him he rarely feels the urge to transform – the opposite of him. Even when he does, his ego is way stronger than his alter ego. Also, seeing his state last night, it must have went that _bad_. Changmin feels the need to ask him, of course, but maybe later.

Changmin sighs subtly after caressing Sunwoo’s cheek gently for the last time. He sneaks his arm inside the blanket toward Sunwoo’s arm that is holding his waist, then he attempts to release it cautiously to not wake the other up. It’s a hard task, of course, as he gets startled by every shift Sunwoo does although he acknowledges he shouldn’t be.

After a moment, he finally can release Sunwoo’s arm off his waist. Carefully, he gets off the bed. Then, he goes to the bathroom quietly. There, he brushes his tooth and washing his face while thinking about last night.

When he walks out of the bathroom and peeks inside the room, Sunwoo is still sleeping, now with the fetal position, monopolying the bed and the blanket. Changmin giggles at it before stepping to the mini counter, grabbing a glass of water. Then, he walks in with his water to check his phone on the nightstand.

“Morning, bae.”

Changmin looks down from his phone at the raspy voice, smiling at Sunwoo who is still half-asleep with his still closed eyes. “Morning.” He puts his phone and the glass onto the nightstand, then sits beside Sunwoo and brushes his strands that is covering his eyes aside. “Did you have a good sleep?”

Sunwoo just answers it with a subtle hum. He opens his eyes lazily and takes Changmin’s hand into his hands, wrapping it warmly.

“Wake up, then!”

Changmin rolls his eyes, feels annoyed as Sunwoo pouts at him. “Don’t you have a class? Wake up!”

Sunwoo stays still, keeps pouting at the other. “Five minutes more.” he begs.

Changmin inhales a deep breath, then exhales it loud. He rolls his eyes. “Okay, as you wish. I’ll shower first.” He is about to get up and withdraw his arm, but the other pulls him a bit, holding him on. He glares at Sunwoo, yanking his arm. “Let me go!”

Sunwoo shakes his head slightly. “You too.”

“Huh?”

“Have five minutes more with me.”

Changmin clicks his tongue. “Sunwoo, I need to shower!”

A mischievous smirk appears on Sunwoo’s face. “We can shower together later.” He pulls Changmin more until the latter almost bumps onto him. “I need energy booster to really wake up. Give me a kiss!”

Changmin’s eyes go wide because of the sudden pull, but then he hisses. “You naughty!” He slaps Sunwoo’s arm with his other hand lightly. Sunwoo doesn’t seem faltering, though. He stays with his smirk, now with a small bite on his lower lip. Changmin breathes deeply and closes his eyes before giving up, “Alright, then!” He leans down to give a peck.

“Ah, what was that?” Sunwoo whines, frowning his face as he tightens his hold. “I said a kiss!”

“Your mouth smells morning breath! Brush your tooth first, then I’ll kiss you!”

“I don’t think you care about it, though?” Sunwoo teases, back again with his smirk. “We’ve kissed several times, babe!”

Changmin smiles forcefully. “It’s different, Sunwoo! Th–“ Just as usual, he couldn’t end his sentence as Sunwoo pulls him closer and shuts him off. At that very second, Changmin knows he couldn’t do anything anymore to stop Sunwoo. The younger would still kiss him anyways. He sighs a little, giving up for real now.

This one kiss is different than they have formerly, though. Sunwoo is sucking Changmin’s lips in a slow and lazy way. He doesn’t even slide his tongue into Changmin’s mouth though the latter gives him the access to. At first, Changmin just supposes it is because Sunwoo is still in his half-asleep state and too lazy to move passionately. But, after he registers Sunwoo’s hands going up to his nape, holding it firmly and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss, along with his legs twining around his hip, he realizes Sunwoo is just desiring a touch to comfort himself. The weakly low mewls that came out of Sunwoo’s mouth oftenly which he never does it previously confirms Changmin’s thought more.

And, it just gives Changmin more reason to worry what happened last night to his boyfriend.

Changmin sighs on the kiss, feeling Sunwoo’s distress as well. He shifts himself to lay down in a comfortable position above Sunwoo without disconnecting their lips, then caresses Sunwoo’s cheeks.

Maybe, he should just give everything that Sunwoo wants until he is mentally fine.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” Changmin mutters after breaking their kiss, staring at Sunwoo’s eyes tenderly with a warm, gentle smile.

Sunwoo looks at the shirt Changmin lends to him, then at Changmin, with his flustered look. “You really have a shirt with the suitable size for me?”

Earlier, he requested to live in Changmin’s dorm for a while, and Changmin just allowed and gave him his dorm’s pin without asking anything immediately. Then, Changmin went to the cabinet after he asked Changmin if he has clothes for him to wear since he didn’t bring his – he was just joking, seriously, he could come back to his dorm to pack his stuffs this morning before his class.

Changmin raises his eyebrows, then nods. “Well, it’s a bit larger, maybe? You can still wear it.”

Sunwoo receives it after looking at it for a moment, then he unfolds it. He widens his eyes at the size. After standing up, he tries it in front of his body. “It’s a bit larger than my size.” He looks at Changmin, still flustered. “Why would you have clothes on this size?”

Changmin shrugs, laughing at Sunwoo’s reaction. “I like oversized look. It’s cute.” He steps back to the cabinet, digging some clothes. “It has been a while since I wear it last time, though.” He lends some other clothes, including the pants. “I have some. Well, I don’t have underwears for you, sorry.”

Sunwoo smirks. “I can wear yours, though?” He instantly screeches and bends down to touch his leg after it kicked hard by Changmin.

Changmin glares at Sunwoo. “Pervert!” He throws the clothes onto the bed, then pokes Sunwoo’s cheek, not bothering him suffering on his pain. “Hurry take a shower!”

Sunwoo looks up with his scrunched face, still touching his leg. “I’m being serious! I need your underwears, please! I’ll launder it later, I promise!”

Changmin turns around facing the cabinet to hide his flushed face and ears, cursing silently. Trying to act normal, he digs into the cabinet. “Okay, then! Make sure you lend it back in its cleanest state!”

Youngjae looks at the others before looking down at his meals. He doesn’t really feel like to eat right now after what happened last night. Yet, he needs to, otherwise the others would worry for him again. He sighs quietly, shaking his head slightly to brush his thoughts away. Then, he feeds himself a spoon of the meals, smiling at the others who are staring at him. It tastes bland, though, in his mouth.

Chanhee gives Youngjae his worried gaze unconsciously, but after the latter smiles at him, he can’t help but to smile back. He looks at Kevin, and Kevin looks back at him with the same look. They can read Youngjae’s gesture very well, but they need to make sure.

Chanhee clears his throat. “So, have you talk?” he asks carefully.

Youngjae pauses for a second before nodding, smiling faintly. “I have.”

Although Youngjae tries to not show it, the others notices something bad might have happened just by seeing Youngjae’s puffy eyes. _It didn’t go well_ , Chanhee whispers silently to Kevin and Juyeon.

Knowing what he should do, Juyeon pushes his kimchi bowl forwards, offering it to Youngjae. “You can take it.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Younghoon said he’ll fly to Korea this Saturday, and he asked me to pick him up.” Juyeon speaks up again after eating his meals few mouthfuls, glancing at Chanhee and Kevin. “He also asked me to bring you guys, so you must be free this weekend.”

“Is his business there done?” Chanhee asks. After Juyeon nods, he hums while gazing at Youngjae who is trying to not bother them and focus eating instead. “Sure, I’ll go. I’m free.”

“Me too.” Kevin says.

“You should join us,” Juyeon looks at Youngjae. “Youngjae.”

Youngjae stops chewing, his eyebrows lifted. He stays still before looking at Juyeon with his questioning expression, pointing at himself with his index. The latter just nods with a small smile. Still not sure, he turns his head at Kevin and finds out another smile.

“Yep! You can join us, you _really_ can!” Chanhee leans forwards, holding Youngjae’s hand.

Youngjae moves his attention toward his hand, then toward Chanhee. “Um, who is Younghoon, by the way?”

“Our friend!”

Youngjae makes a little noise. He hums as he presses his lips together, kind of hesitant. “But, I’m not your member.”

“No, it’s okay!” Chanhee massages Youngjae’s hand. “If Juyeon invites you, that means it’s okay for you. You can join us!”

Juyeon nods, confirming. “You need some air for your mind to relax just for one day.”

Youngjae turns his head down, looking at his meals although his thought is running anywhere. He knows the others don’t have bad intention, yet he is doubful if it really is okay for him to hang out with another pack outside the campus when he is still having problems with his own pack.

Wait, why would he concern about Sunwoo, the one who hurted him?

Kevin nudges his arm, so he instinctively looks up. Kevin is smiling at him, then nods when the younger’s attention is on him, encouraging him.

Maybe, it would be okay if he doesn’t care about how it could trigger the alphas. Maybe, it would be okay for him to take revenge now.

_Sure, I’ll leave you, Sunwoo._

Youngjae’s lips tips raised a bit, he nods. “Okay, I’ll join you this weekend.”

Sunwoo looks up from his phone, then sits up when he notices Changmin is coming home with a plastic bag. “How was practice?”

“Hmm. So-so.” Changmin takes the food out of the bag, turning his head at Sunwoo with his curved down lips. “It felt empty without you at the studio. But, nevermind, I wasn’t so lonely since the dancers were kind of slow.” He laughs, back to prepare their dinner.

Sunwoo chuckles by seeing Changmin sulking at his absence. He understands the feeling, though, and he feels bad for him. Since he dates Changmin, he always accompanies him practicing at the studio. Not every time, but mostly. However, he isn’t feeling good since his quarrel with Youngjae that day, so he stated at Changmin that he needs time alone and thus he can’t accompany him. “Sorry. I will to, soon, when I’m finally in a good state.” He grins in guilt.

His smile faded away, however, when he smells the familiar smell. That smell reminds him of someone whom he is trying to not think about these days.

“No, it’s okay! I understand.” Changmin smiles, walking in with two bowls of meals. He sits after putting the bowls onto the table. “Let’s eat!”

After taking a look at the meals, it’s confirmed that Sunwoo isn’t wrong. It indeed is kimchi sujebi.

Noticing Sunwoo doesn’t move even an inch off the bed, Changmin looks up, and raises his eyebrows after finding Sunwoo looking down at the meals with a shocked gaze. “Hey?”

Sunwoo flinched, he turns his head and blinks. “Oh, yes?”

Changmin’s eyebrows furrowed. He can catch the suspicious gesture from Sunwoo again. He shakes his head slightly, trying to brush the thought away. “Why are you gazing at it like that? You don’t like it?”

It takes Sunwoo few seconds to grasp Changmin’s words. Then, he shakes his head quickly, faking a smile as he gets up to sit on the floor. “No, I like it. It’s my favorite food, just so you know.” _Because it’s Youngjae’s favorite food._

“Good to know, then.”

While stiring the meals, Sunwoo’s mind enters another world. Since that day, he hasn’t come back to his dorm as he fears to face Youngjae. He even doesn’t take too much time at campus and mostly are in Changmin’s dorm. He is aware he must apologize to Youngjae, yet he couldn’t bring himself to. He is just afraid he would hurt Youngjae more, especially because he is way too hot-tempered nowadays that he repelled Youngjae out of his pack. It was out of his consciousness and intention, really. He doesn’t even know why did he do that.

And, he just prays Youngjae is doing okay right now.

“So, how are you?” Changmin asks, bringing Sunwoo back to earth.

A hint of smile displayed at Sunwoo’s face. “Hm, so-so.” He sips the broth. The warmth spreads on his tongue at once.

“Mind to tell me what happened that night?”

The chopsticks stop on its way toward Sunwoo’s mouth. He blinks few times, making sure he’s hearing right. After he’s certain, he clears his throath quietly, then shakes his head. “I’m still not ready yet, sorry.” He pauses, gulping his stress down hard. “Actually, I can’t.”

There’s silence for seconds which feels like minutes for him before he hears a loud heavy sigh. “Okay, then. I won’t force you. But, please tell me if there’s anything you need, okay?” Changmin states kindly.

Not wanting to make the other worry more, Sunwoo nods immediately.

If he thinks about it, Changmin has been giving him much comfort, notably these days, and he is thankful because he surely needs someone to lean onto and distract him from the negative emotions. However, he still feels the emptiness in his heart. At first, he didn’t know what is the reason behind of this feeling. Just now, upon Changmin brought kimchi sujebi as their dinner, he realizes it.

He misses Youngjae, _very much_.

Of course, he likes being with Changmin. The latter is his only comfort zone for now while he’s full of problems. However, the aura when he’s with Youngjae is absolutely different from the aura when he’s with Changmin. He loves his moments with Youngjae more, although it gives him pain at the same time. It’s because he grew up with Youngjae, perhaps.

Or, he just loves him up to out of his control.

He sighs heavily, feeling the pain deep in his heart as he struggles to hold his tears from rolling off his eyes. Looking away to hide his watery eyes, he bites his lip.

Youngjae rubs his finger while observing the others’ face. The others are waiting, as well. But, they are waiting in excitement, not like him, who is waiting in disquiet. He is here, waiting for Younghoon in the waiting area at the airport, with them. Still, he’s doubting if he takes a right decision. Moreover, he doesn’t know who is Younghoon and how is his appearance.

Then, someone beside him holds his hands in a quiet manner, so he instantly tilts his head aside and finds out Juyeon who is staring and smiling a little at him. He instinctively smiles back.

“Take it easy!” Juyeon whispers, still holding Youngjae’s hands.

By that, Youngjae breathes deeply, trying to ease himself.

“Are you sure he would arrive this afternoon?” Chanhee asks to Juyeon. “Gosh! It’s almost evening, and we’ve been waiting for hours!” He looks up, then sighs loudly in annoyance.

“There could be a delay, Chanhee!” Kevin embraces Chanhee, patting his head lightly.

“He should tell us beforehand, then!”

Not so long after Chanhee complains, an announcement for the departures and arrivals echoes the waiting area, including the airplane which Younghoon taking on. Chanhee’s jaw dropped in disbelief, and his ears flushed. Trying to hide his embarrassement, he grins with his tongue sticking out slightly, then laughs. “Guys, I think I have kind of the forecast talent.”

“It’s not forecasting, dear!” Kevin resists, chuckling at his friend’s reaction.

Juyeon shakes his head as he leers at Chanhee, whereas Youngjae can’t help but giggles.

Chanhee hisses, somewhat offended. He glares at Juyeon. “It’s your fault!” He points at Juyeon with his frowned face.

After waiting for around half an hour, so many people finally come out of the terminal. Then, they stand up, looking through the crowds there to find Younghoon. Meanwhile, Youngjae who still has no clue how is Younghoon’s look just stands there like a stray kid.

When someone calls them, they turn their head at the exact time. Among the crowds, a person with his tall body that is towering everyone around him and blond hair is walking toward them with a bright smile. Although he is wearing a gold sunglasses – which ridiculously looks good on him, Youngjae can feel his eyes is smiling as well.

Youngjae’s gut is right. When he’s almost in front of them, that man takes his sunglasses off, showing his eyes off. His eyes indeed is smiling as well. Youngjae holds his breath unconsciously as he gazes at him in awe. The blond has a sharp and strong face line, yet he looks soft with that silly smile. Youngjae never knows Younghoon originally, but he knows that person is Younghoon just by the way he looks at them.

Not taking too much time, the blond pulls Chanhee into a tight hug, sinking his head between the latter’s neck and shoulder. “I miss you!”

Chanhee screams in tiny, is shocked. Can’t breathe properly, he smacks Younghoon several times, signaling the other to release him. Fortunately, Younghoon grasps it well at once. He withdraws himself, then ruins Chanhee’s hair still with his bright smile.

“I thought it would be hard to find you guys, but I guess I don’t forget your scents at all.” Younghoon turns his body, facing the others, then giggles. He stretches his arms aside and tilts his head. “Hug?”

Kevin is the first one to go ahead after smiling and scrunching his nose, followed by Juyeon with a little hug – more like an embrace with a small tap on the back.

Younghoon turns his head at Youngjae, lifting his eyebrows a little. “You must be Youngjae.”

Youngjae’s eyes widened, but then he nods and smiles a bit. “Yes, I am.” He bows down politely, then stretches an arm. “Hello! I’m their friend. Nice to meet you.”

The smile on Younghoon’s face raised up more as he shakes their hands. “I’m Younghoon. Nice to meet you too!”

“So, how is Los Angeles?” Kevin asks at Younghoon in English.

“Pretty good.” Younghoon replies in English as well.

Hearing them speaking in English, Juyeon cringes, but then he giggles. “I guess you were having so much fun there for a year that you dyed your hair as well.” He scans Younghoon’s hair closely.

Younghoon tsks silently. “I needed to adapt with the environment there. Besides,” He puts his hand onto Chanhee’s head. “he also dyed his hair, with _blue_ , even brighter than mine.”

Chanhee snorts, backing off so that Younghoon’s hand no longer weights himself. “Not blue, it’s baby blue!” he stresses the right name of the color.

While Younghoon and Chanhee debating the unnecessary thing with Kevin trying to stops them and Juyeon just watching them as he chuckles and shakes his head, Youngjae is standing right there, not knowing what to do. It seems like he’s being forgotten. And, he feels so small, like he is a ghost among them.

He thought he wouldn’t feel so lonely with them, since they are always genuinely kind at him. But, seeing them playing around with Younghoon although they haven’t seen each other for a year, Youngjae realizes their bond is _strong_ , just as his bond with Hyunjae and Sunwoo. Surely they were growing up together. And, of course, he can’t join them because he just met them recently.

He can’t leave his pack and join another pack that easy. That reality hits him so hard.

Youngjae has been standing in front of Sunwoo’s dorm for minutes with Sunwoo’s clothes in his hand. He is chewing his lip agitatedly, his hand is hanging in front of the password lock. After having dinner with Juyeon’s pack and studying their bond deeper, he decided to beg to Sunwoo for letting him stay, no matter how hard it would be. Yet, he is afraid Sunwoo would get angrier at him. He is afraid he would be hurted more.

However, he couldn’t be a lone wolf, as well. Although he said he could protect himself, he still needs the sense of the real security by being leaded by any alpha.

After he inhales and exhales deep breaths, he finally presses the pin timidly, is uncertain for some reasons. 221204.

The sound of the unlocking door is heard in a second after he presses the OK button. He gasps subtly, can’t believe it.

Sunwoo hasn’t change the password, even after he repelled Youngjae out. It’s still his and Youngjae’s birthdate in combination. Youngjae thought it was because Sunwoo is too lazy to change though he’s dating Changmin, but why doesn’t he after their quarrel the other day?

Out of sudden, the hesitation fills Youngjae’s gut again. He stays still for a while, rethinking his decision. He almost backs off before the thought of being a lone wolf appears on his mind. Well, the options are to beg or to be a lone wolf. The latter one sounds so terrible for him, and he doesn’t want to imagine it again.

Slowly, he pushes the door. The darkness welcomes him as the door is opening. There’s no fresh scent inside, which means Sunwoo isn’t here. Youngjae steps in, then flicks the switch as he closes the door. The room is still in the same condition as he left the last time, messy and dirty with trashes spreading on the front hallway. At once, he supposes Sunwoo left as well after he left him, probably to Changmin’s dorm.

Youngjae sighs heavily at the thought. He walks inside, ignoring the trashes, ahead to the bed, then sits on the edge. His head is turning around, catching every familiar details. The pictures of their moments displays at every corner of the room vividly and their goofy laughter echoes into his ears for few seconds. By instinct, he smiles a little.

After a moment, he begins to feel the emptiness in the room. He snuffles low as he feels the stone slamming his heart. He brings himself to lay down, shrinking a little and embracing the clothes close enough to his face. Sunwoo isn’t here, and he will wait for him, although it seems impossible.

“Sunwoo, I’m sorry,” he speaks up, laughing at himself for being like a crazy person talking to no one. “for not understanding you. I’m sorry for being selfish. I should’ve told you guys before I talk to Juyeon. To think back, I was such a fool.”

“I regret it now. I just realize I need you more than Juyeon. I know maybe it’s a bit late to regret, but will you please give me more chance? I won’t break our promise anymore. So–“ He inhales deeply, unintentionally sniffing the fresh scent which still lingers on the clothes. “So, please come back.”

He smirks, barely laughing at himself, as nothing answers him but the silence. Feeling sick of begging at nothing, he observes the television instead. Out of all things, the television has been an active witness of their nights, especially the nights of Sunwoo’s rut, when he was helping Sunwoo.

It has been months since he has a sex with Sunwoo last time. Having sex with Sunwoo is one of their promise, to help Sunwoo’s rut, as the other rarely used the period suppressant. It’s only for every Sunwoo’s rut and when he isn’t using the suppressant, so Youngjae was relieved because handling Sunwoo in his rut was so tiring, although he improved the last time compared to their first time at early last year. If Youngjae thinks back, it’s impressive since they only had sex for nights for three times until now – mid January last year, mid September last year, and mid January this year.

So, it’s weird for him for feeling the fear of losing it, considering now the other has a boyfriend. To make it clear, his boyfriend is a werewolf. He doesn’t know yet what his status is, but he is so sure he might be a beta. In around a month, Sunwoo’s rut is coming. He is uncertain if Sunwoo would be using the suppressant or not, but the most important thing is he might couldn’t help him anymore.

Why is he being like this?

Actually, he loves the way Sunwoo teasing him for a while that feels too long for him, the way he thrusting into him sensually – it was done sloppily at the first time, the way they always struggling as they feel the need to muffle their moans and whimpers although the television is always on, and the way Sunwoo always kissed his tears away. He loves it so much, no matter how tiring it is.

The fear confuses him lot. It was just their promise. It was just him helping Sunwoo. Why doesn’t he feel relieved for not having the duty anymore?

He feels his eyes wetting. And why does he want to cry just because of it?

He embraces the clothes more, sniffing the scent deeper. “I can’t leave you, please don’t leave me.” he mumbles, feeling his body trembling as he struggles to not crying. He sheds tears anyways, at the end.

“Sunwoo, what should I do?”

Sunwoo’s eyes gaped when he smells the familiar scent and spots the familiar shoes as soon as he enters his dorm. To confirm his sense, he passes the front hallway quickly. Then, he sees Youngjae sleeping on his bed. He clicks his tongue and looking away. He comes back to his dorm to pack his stuff since he couldn’t borrow Changmin’s clothes all the time. If only he knows Youngjae would be here, he wouldn’t come this night.

He walks toward Youngjae, is about to drag him off his dorm. But, his arm stops on its way after he spots the tears trace on Youngjae’s cheeks. His eyebrows met, then he shuts his eyes off and looks up as he feels the tears emerging, hanging on his eyes. He hates knowing Youngjae crying because it aches him much.

“Were you crying?” he whispers, still not daring to look at Youngjae. “Why? Was it because of me?”

Of course, there is no answer. He gulps hard, finally opening his eyes and looking down. He sighs, squatting down to level their face. He is timid at first, but he brings his hand to caress Youngjae’s cheek gently. “I’m sorry, for hurting you, for everything.”

He remains like that for minutes, watching Youngjae breathing steadily and caressing his cheek, thinking back about his feeling toward the other. If he could, he wants to blame the fate for pushing him hard and harder, not giving him the exit way to stop loving him. Maybe it really is his fate. And, yes, he hates it because it gives him pain to remember Youngjae seeing him as a best friend, nothing more.

_“Let’s be like this forever, until death separates us. I know there might be so many hardships to maintain our long friendship, but I believe we would get closer by those hardships. Oh, and don’t forget me when you get your significant one! Promise?”_

Sunwoo bends his face entirely and withdraws his arm, covering his face with his hands as he feels the urge to cry his heart out. His shoulders trembled as he tries hard to muffle his sobs.

He loves Youngjae a lot, yet he hates him for making everything harder for him these years. He has been trying to stop by slapping himself with reality. It’s just, the nature seems doesn’t want to take on his side.

After minutes of crying, Sunwoo brings his hands down, inhaling a long heavy cracked breath. He is taking a wrong path, probably, because love shouldn’t justify him hurting anyone, right?

He gets up to lay down beside Youngjae, cuddling him carefully. Consciously, he pushes his wolf up, then he feels the fur emerging up slowly, followed up by the tail, the ears, the nose, and the claws. Struggling to not waking the other up and scaring him as he finally transforms entirely, he moves his claws off Youngjae’s skin. Then, he nudges his nose into the latter’s shoulder, sharing the warmth.


	9. please don't go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Sunwoo's time to rethink his feelings.

When Sunwoo opens his eyes the next morning, no one is beside him and he is still in his wolf form. He sighs at the emptiness. Youngjae must have gone a while ago. After changing back to his human form, he takes his time looking at nothing meanwhile his mind remembers last night.

Being that close with Youngjae was the best part not only because it gives him the sense of the existence, but also the warmth. Youngjae is the warmest person he has ever met, and he hurted him. He shouldn’t have done it at whatever point, because love isn’t about revenge, right?

Sunwoo sighs, maybe he should rethink his path. He brings himself off the bed and take a glimpse look around. His room is clean now, obviously Youngjae tidied up before he left. A tiny smile grew up on Sunwoo’s face. Youngjae doesn’t change, it is himself who is changing. He was denying it simply because he was blind.

He shakes his head a little, attempting to brush the thoughts away. Then, he walks to the cabinet to pack his stuff. He still needs to come back to Changmin’s dorm. Changmin must have waited for him, and he must prepare a lie to cover it up. He should settle everything up before coming back to his dorm soon.

Before he steps out, he stares at his room again. _I’ll come back after I settle my feelings up, see you._

When Sunwoo is in front of Changmin’s dorm, the nervousness rises up as he feels anxious just by thinking Changmin waiting for him and him screwing everything up. It already happened, though, and all he can do now is just working it out as time continues passing by.

After taking deep breathes, he comes in. There’s no pine tree and chamomile scent, and he hears the water running in the bathroom. Changmin is probably showering. He walks in, unpacking his stuffs.

Few minutes later, the water stops running and the door opens, then the familiar scent that mixed with the white musk fragrance spreads over the room. Sunwoo can hear someone is walking inside, yet he remains unpacking and doesn’t turn his head.

“You’re home.”

Sunwoo stops his hands from digging the bag and turns his head to find Changmin standing in front of the nightstand with his clothes on and a towel hanging on his shoulder, drinking a water.

Changmin looks back at Sunwoo. “What took you a night to pack your stuffs? Are your stuffs that much?” He tips his chin toward the bag.

Sunwoo doesn’t catch the angry tone from Changmin’s voice, nor his expression. The latter remains stoical, which is honestly scaring him.

“I slept by accident, sorry.” Sunwoo grins a little. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Changmin raises his eyebrows, then he grabs a phone from the nightstand, showing it to Sunwoo. “You left your phone here.”

“Ah, I forgot. Sorry, Changmin.”

Changmin shakes his head, putting back the phone, then throws himself onto the bed after taking off the towel. “No problem.” He takes his phone from the nightstand. “Go shower! I will order for breakfast.”

Sunwoo nods and smiles at every person he passes by while walking on the corridor. He is going to the baseball field just for a while before coming home to see how is Youngjae doing. Since Youngjae wasn’t there when Sunwoo woke up yesterday, he is concerned for some reasons, especially because Youngjae might have cried. He just wants to know Youngjae isn’t alone.

The team is practicing at the field when Sunwoo gets there, and he can spot Youngjae among them easily. Youngjae is listening to the coach in a thorough manner, then he turns his head toward Sunwoo’s spot few seconds later. He gasps subtly, seems doesn’t expect Sunwoo’s coming.

Sunwoo isn’t going to approach Youngjae since he just means to pass by for a moment, so he sends Youngjae a tiny smile. He mouths _good luck_ and uplifts a fist at Youngjae. After the latter smiles back for a second and turns his head forwards quickly, Sunwoo walks away.

Youngjae seems fine. Sunwoo doesn’t know if he faking it or not, but he is still relieved. He just hopes his apology is conveyed well though he doesn’t say it directly.

When Sunwoo passes by the basketball field, he hears the dunk sounds and smells the coffee and mustard scent. He stops at the door, peeking inside. There’s Juyeon who is playing basketball by himself. After catching the ball near the rim, Juyeon turns his head at the door.

For a moment, they stare at each other without opening their mouth. Sunwoo doesn’t even know how to describe their situation, especially their gaze. The sharp one? No. It’s the illegible one. More like each of them – or Juyeon, has something to say but is holding back because of the hesitancy. At the end, Juyeon lifts his eyebrows and nods, offering Sunwoo to come in. “Wanna play?”

Sunwoo is remaining silent for few seconds before looking around, making sure Juyeon is offering him and not anyone else. There’s no one standing near by him and staring inside but himself, though. He turns his head forwards, gazing at Juyeon who is still with his earlier expression. He could just refuse it, but because he supposes the other has something important to talk to, he walks in toward the bench.

After putting his bag onto the bench, he asks, “Why do you invite me to?”

Juyeon smiles a little, shrugging. “Playing alone is no fun.”

Sunwoo doesn’t reply for a while and just staring at Juyeon. He knows the latter has another aim, but he probably would only speak up about it after they chill out.

Sunwoo smiles back. “Sure.” He unbuttons and takes his shirt off before throwing it onto his bag, leaving himself with a black plain t-shirt.

Though Sunwoo can play well, Juyeon plays better than him. He isn’t surprised at all since he has watched Juyeon’s team playing basketball periodically on some leagues. While playing, Juyeon does almost every shooting techniques skillfully so mostly his shots are a success. As if Sunwoo is his real rival in a league, he isn’t playing easy at the younger. After a while, they begin laughing at each other every time each of them fails the shot. Little does they know, the fairness of their play brings them closer. When Sunwoo realizes it, he can’t deny it and admits it instead. He would never justify playing easy even for a fun game either, no matter how lacking he is.

Now, he can understand why Youngjae admires Juyeon a lot. It is not only because Juyeon is witty as he can strategize right away, but also because of his attitude as a player.

Perhaps the strategy he planned to twist and turnover Hyunjae’s game is wrong.

Or, it was never a game for them.

“Yo! What a nice shot!” Juyeon chuckles, walking closer to Sunwoo and tapping his shoulder twice. Sunwoo smiles a thank you at him after catching the ball falling off the rim. Juyeon walks away toward the bench to sit down. He takes his water bottle, remaining his sight on Sunwoo. “Let’s take a break!” He tips his head to his side.

After Sunwoo sits beside him with a bit gap, he lends him the water. Sunwoo receives it after glancing at him and the bottle. “Thanks.”

“How are you doing?” Juyeon asks, taking his water back.

Sunwoo’s silenced off for few seconds, bending his head down and looking at the floor. “I’m doing well. Thanks for asking.”

Juyeon can catch the flat tone from Sunwoo. He sighs and leans backwards a little, looking ahead. The silence fills the space for a while as they are in their each world.

“About that day,” Juyeon finally opens up, turning his head to the side. “sorry I called you. I was just worried for Youngjae since this wasn’t the first time.”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows lifted for a second at Juyeon’s sentence. He chooses to stay silent because he doesn’t know how to response.

Knowing the other is speechless, Juyeon continues, “I don’t know what you and Hyunjae talked about, but I know it wasn’t a nice one. I’m sorry, once again.”

Hearing Hyunjae’s name being mentioned, Sunwoo tsks unconsciously and curses silently. He isn’t looking at Juyeon, but he looks away more so he isn’t showing his irritated expression.

“So, that’s right.” Juyeon mumbles low unclearly. Suddenly, he is timid to continue his sentence, so he looks ahead and not saying anything anymore.

“What do you want?”

Juyeon hums. “Nothing. I just want Youngjae to stop being down, and knowing probably you can clear everything up with him, I’m thinking to notify you.”

Sunwoo remains silent, thinking Juyeon’s words which shockingly hits him hard. Youngjae’s injury wasn’t the first time and he has been down these days, if Juyeon is telling him the truth. But, why would Youngjae feel blue lately? Is it because he is changing a lot?

“I don’t know how close you are, so I’m sorry beforehand for saying this, but I think your bond is stronger. More like, your soul matches well with each other.” Juyeon pauses, sorting his next words carefully in his mind. He tilts his head aside slightly. “I don’t have any feeling for him, if you’re wondering.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widened and darts in a shocked manner. He blinks and licks his lips, inhaling a short breath to calming his panicked nerve. He looks at Juyeon with his furrowed eyebrows. “What is your point?” he asks, struggling to not stuttering.

Juyeon doesn’t answer for few seconds purposely, giving Sunwoo time to grasp his meaning. “I’m also an alpha, Sunwoo.”

 _I’m also an alpha._ Just by those four words, Sunwoo gets the point. He puffs, barely laughing at himself, turning his head ahead. He forgets it, they can sense each other’s fire from each other’s ego if they share the same kind. Alphas can sense other alpha’s, as well as betas and omegas. How can he forget it when he and Hyunjae can sense each other’s fire?

Sunwoo clicks his tongue and leans backwards. He can’t run away anymore now. “You got me.” he admits. “But, you know what?” He looks at Juyeon, his lip tip raised slightly. “It means nothing if he doesn’t see me as I does.”

Juyeon shakes his head. “No, you misunderstood.” He sighs quietly when Sunwoo knits his eyebrows and sends him his questioning stare. “I think.. he also has the same feeling for you. I was not sure because I don’t know him deeper yet. But, my beta friends can feel it. Also, his attitude towards you tells me more. He has been worrying–“

“It’s probably because we grew up together.”

“–you all the time.” Juyeon rolls his eyes. “Okay, sure. But, why would he lose his appetite and spaced out, like he lose something and is grieving over it?”

“I’m changing a lot, Juyeon. I just aware of it recently.” Sunwoo answers, though is somewhat unsure with what he says.

Juyeon is staring right into Sunwoo’s eyes, and he can read the doubt through his eyes and tone. Then, he looks away while shaking his head. “Just think as you want, then. But, please get back with him. I don’t wanna sounded like a selfish who doesn’t understand you, but I’m still his friend, and seeing my friend being sad makes me feel sad as well.”

Sunwoo gulps his nerve down before pressing the bell beside Hyunjae’s dorm door. Actually, he knows the pin, but he supposes he doesn’t have the right to just come in for now. After Juyeon tells him few days ago, he has been reflecting on his feelings. He doesn’t deny his feelings anymore since years ago, but expecting Youngjae to love him back? He couldn’t believe it easily, like how? But, he can’t lie that there’s a little hope blooming in his heart after Juyeon told him how his beta friends could feel their strong bond.

And, he doesn’t know what to do now. Of course, he is lying if he says he doesn’t want Youngjae to be his, but he is starting to like Changmin. He feels confused with his heart since then, and he needs someone to talk his heart out. At this time, Hyunjae is the only one he could trust on as to his heart, so he doesn’t have another chance other than to come over to Hyunjae’s dorm, although he acknowledges it’s not the right time to.

The door opens a little, showing off Hyunjae’s face. He pauses when spotting Sunwoo, then closes the door a second later. But, before the door is closed entirely, Sunwoo hurries to hold the door by clamping his foot over the door. “Wait!”

“What do you want?” Hyunjae asks in his cold tone.

“I want to talk to you, please! I’m truly sorry for that day. You may punch me if you want to.” Hyunjae remains still, so Sunwoo lifts his hand holding a plastic bag. “I order fried chicken. You haven’t eaten yet, right? Let’s dinner, then!”

Hyunjae tsks a bit loud, then he opens the door, giving up. “Come in!”

“So, what is it?” Hyunjae asks from his chair, keeping his attention on Sunwoo preparing their dinner at the mini counter.

“I’m confused.” Sunwoo utters without taking his eyes off the meals. He walks in with the meals after finishing preparing it. After he sits on the floor, he adds, mumbling, “I– I mess up. I don’t think I can move on.”

“See? I’ve told you! Ah, I won’t step in!” Hyunjae hisses and frowns.

“Please, Hyunjae!” Sunwoo stares at Hyunjae with his desperate eyes. “I admit I’m such an idiot. You can be angry and hit me as much as you want.”

“Really?” Hyunjae asks with his rounded eyes, a bit surprised at Sunwoo’s unusual attitude – he would never want to be attacked in a serious purpose at whatever cost. After Sunwoo nods firmly, Hyunjae leers at him, then sighs and shakes his head. “Forget it. I was also wrong for almost bringing you to death by accident.”

Sunwoo blinks and raises his eyebrows, somewhat flustered that Hyunjae feels guilty as well. “Oh? So, you forgive me and will help me?”

Hyunjae furrows his eyebrows. “Do you think my hands are free?” He gets down, grabbing a fried chicken. “Fried chicken, a month.”

“Call.”

Hyunjae pauses, staring at Sunwoo shockingly to read his mind. The other’s face looks serious and doesn’t hold back. He must be truly desperate. Hyunjae sighs deeply. “Sure.”

“So, how is everything with Changmin?”

The question silences Sunwoo off for a while. His attention is on the fried chickens, but Hyunjae knows his mind is on another world, sorting the words cautiously. Thus, he gives Sunwoo times and eats fried chicken.

“It’s going well, I’m starting to like him, although–“ Sunwoo pauses for a moment, chewing his lip. “although I’m still thinking about Youngjae randomly. I guess I can’t stop it, even if I want to.”

Hyunjae is staring at Sunwoo as he feels pitiness, heartbreak, and resentment. He knows very well how does it feel for not being able to control their heart, but he is resentful as well at their bond. When he started to blooming his feeling for Youngjae, he was already far away and thus he couldn’t spend more time with him. It’s so clear he didn’t have a chance to try to make Youngjae look at him, and he feels so unfair. If only he loves him sooner.

He sighs heavily. “I shouldn’t have suggested you. I didn’t know it would make everything worsened.”

Sunwoo knits his eyebrows, looking at Hyunjae with his confused look. “What– What do you mean?”

Hyunjae doesn’t answer for a minute which feels so long for Sunwoo purposely, staring back at the latter. He puts his fried chicken and leans backwards, still staring at Sunwoo. “I wanted to stop loving him. It pains me a lot knowing he wouldn’t ever stare at me as he did to someone else.” He presses his lips together. “However, I didn’t wanna hurt my ego by showing it to you, so I suggested you. I thought you wouldn’t try to because I knew you wouldn’t give up chasing what you want, yet you did. I’m so confused. What was in your mind?”

It leaves Sunwoo speechless. Once again, another fact hits him hard. He is so stupid, he thinks.

“I– I don’t know..” He gulps hard. “I just couldn’t trust you, and I thought it wasn’t a bad idea.” he continues. “I’m sick of this, too, Hyunjae.”

“Better break Changmin up, then. I don’t have any cunning plans, so don’t make me look like a mean person. End it with him.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widened. He groans low. “I don’t think I would be able to. I don’t want to lose him.” He plays with his fingers. “He is the first person as us I’ve ever met without any mutual. So, yeah, he is special for me.”

Hyunjae meets his eyebrows together. He understands how hard it is to find one. He has been there once, and yes, he felt sort of delighted. He even puts her in a special space of his heart. But, no, he never felt any love for her, even though she is an omega female, someone who naturally matches and looks perfect for him. She was just a comfort zone for him, nothing more, although she isn’t now as they are busy with their each path since last year – and it was when Youngjae attended the college as well.

“I think you mistaken your feeling for Changmin.”

Sunwoo frowns, getting more confused. “Pardon?”

“Comfort and love aren’t the same thing. You might feel comfortable when you’re in love, but it’s different from comfort zone.” Hyunjae states. “You said you still think about Youngjae in random times out of your consciousness, right? There’s the clue, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo looks down, doesn’t know what to reply. Even if he knows, he wouldn’t speak, because he realizes he is wrong. Every choice he took is wrong, and he is afraid to take any choices now. If there is an award for stupid people, he would be one of them to get the award.

“Break up with Changmin and fight for Youngjae. This is the only thing I suggest to you for now.”

Sunwoo bites his lip lightly, raising his head up to stare at Hyunjae. “Then, how about you?”

Hyunjae shakes his head. “I already lost since then, Sunwoo.” he resists. “It’s already over even before I fight. He doesn’t and would never love me.”

“Huh? Why–?”

Unbelievable, it is probably a word that really fits Hyunjae’s mind and look right now. How could Sunwoo be so oblivious? Oh, right, he shouldn’t be surprised at all. It is them, after all.

Hyunjae shrugs. “You won his heart. He chooses you, not me.”

Sunwoo freezes for a while, processing Hyunjae’s words. He blinks, then sighs and smirks, barely laughing, shaking his head. “No way. Why would he, when he keeps saying we’re bestfriends?” He gulps, glaring at Hyunjae. “Stop trying to trap me.”

“Why would I?” Hyunjae clicks his tongue and looks away, cursing silently, before glaring back at Sunwoo. “I’m not trapping you. I’m saying a fac– okay, an assumption. But, it’s an obvious assumption, Sunwoo. If I could win him, I would never make that deal with you. I’ve been trying to win his heart, but it never successed. He never stares at me as he does to you. He never wears my clothes, either.”

“It’s because you weren’t near by us.”

“Then, why doesn’t he wear mine after attending college even once?”

“Because I became a leader at around that time?”

Hyunjae shuts his mouth off and stares right into Sunwoo’s eyes. He can catch the doubt in Sunwoo’s mind. He sighs out loud, then tsks and shrugs. “Sure, whatever.” he murmurs. “Still, he loves you back or not, you better break up. Then, you want to fight for him or stop loving him, it’s up to you. But, it never is a great idea to date someone when you’re still stuck on someone you love.”

“Stop worsening everything and guilt tripping me. Break Changmin up before he knows the truth. This is the last time I would step into your problem.”

“Hey!”

Sunwoo flinched. He tilts his head aside as he blinks. Then, he smiles a little when he shares an eye contact with Changmin next to him, pulling him more into a hug while his legs twining around, locking them together. “Sorry, I was running to another space for a moment.”

Changmin, still with his frowned face, pushes Sunwoo gently. “Can’t you bring me on with you? Don’t go to another space alone!”

Sunwoo giggles, poking Changmin’s nose. “Why? Are you jealous?”

Changmin snorts. He shakes his head as he glares at the other. “No. I just dislike it when you don’t pay attention on me.” He pauses. “Well, it’s also a part of the reason.” he mumbles, looking away.

Another giggle came out of Sunwoo’s mouth again. He ruins Changmin’s hair. “Cute.” He sticks his tongue out when Changmin glares back at him.

“Whatever.” Changmin kicks Sunwoo’s legs off him lightly, escaping from the hug. Then, he turns his body around so he isn’t facing Sunwoo anymore. Trying to ignore the younger, he plays with his phone. “I’m mad, don’t touch me!”

Sunwoo raises an eyebrow, but then he chuckles. “Sure, sure!” He looks ahead, at the ceilings, giving up.

The anxiety comes back, lingering around him, as he remembers Hyunjae’s words. The latter is right. He should end everything up with Changmin before it gets too far and harder for him. Sure, it’s still almost a month for them, and he doesn’t know how would his feelings change time by time. He might start to let his feeling for Youngjae go after months dating Changmin. But, he feels dilemma just by hearing Juyeon and Hyunjae’s thought on Youngjae’s feelings for him. It’s okay for him to have a hope, right?

But, how in the world could he break Changmin up?

Changmin has been easing him. Changmin is his comfort zone and someone he can lean onto in these times. He couldn’t just end this relationship when they never really have a quarrel and are doing good. Otherwise, he would surely lose the other, and he never wants it to happen.

Why did he ask Changmin out?

He regrets it so much now. God, if only he could get rid of his impulsive trait.

He sighs heavily. Perhaps he needs time away from Changmin for a while.

“Changmin,” He licks his dry lips anxiously. “I’m gon’ come home late for days. You don’t need to look neither wait for me. I have sumn to do.”


	10. (Bad) Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it really a right decision?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bgm: baekhyun - love again

Sunwoo pauses and looks up when he hears the door opening. He smiles at Changmin whilst the other walks inside with his flustered look. “You’re home early. Is your business done?” Changmin raises his eyebrows when he spots Sunwoo’s bag in front of the latter. Immediately, he figures out Sunwoo is packing his stuffs. “Are you gonna back?”

Sunwoo glances at his bag, then he gulps. Actually, he didn’t have any business to do. He was just using it as an excuse to prepare his heart along with keep their distance before officially ending their relationship. And, yes, he has decided to break up with Changmin, although it means he would likely lose the other. He is already aware of the consequence, and he is ready to face it – or probably not yet?

Whatever it is, he needs to end everything up sooner.

He nods a little. “I’m fine now, I guess.”

Changmin stays still for a moment, leering at Sunwoo skeptically. But, he then shrugs and puts his bag. “Okay, then.” He turns his body facing Sunwoo, staring down at him. “Let’s have a dinner first before you go!”

Sunwoo immediately grasps the other’s aim. They haven’t eat together since few days ago, obviously Changmin misses it. If Sunwoo is acting as if nothing would happen, he would agree to it. But, no, he doesn’t want to give his heart another chance to turn back.

He shakes his head. A tiny faint smile showed up on his face. “I gotta go. I need to meet someone tonight.” he lies.

Changmin sighs, walking away toward the bathroom after grabbing pajamas from the cabinet. “Okay. But, wait for me!”

Sunwoo smiles and hums before Changmin is gone to the bathroom. “Okay.”

There it goes, the anxiety rises up again, filling his nerve up. He isn’t sure how Changmin would respond later, but he _must_ stick onto his original plan. God, he never thought that break up would be this suck.

He sighs heavily and shakes his head. Then, he continues packing his stuffs.

After finishing packing, Changmin is still in the bathroom, but there is no water running sounds anymore. To calm himself, Sunwoo checks his phone without actually checking it. Not so long after that, Changmin comes out with his pajamas.

“You sure you won’t have a dinner first?” Changmin asks without looking at Sunwoo as he is grabbing a water.

Sunwoo’s eyebrows lifted at it, he stays silent for few seconds before nodding in a determined manner. He can hear another heavy sigh from Changmin. The other is disappointed.

“Okay, then.” Changmin turns his head and looks at Sunwoo, smiling slightly. “I assume you need to meet that someone soon?”

“Ah, yes.” Sunwoo gets up and grabs his bag, then walks ahead.

He stops in front of Changmin, and they share a gaze without opening their mouth and speaking up for a minute.

Changmin raises his eyebrows and tips his head to the side, toward the door, wondering what is wrong with Sunwoo. “Why?”

Sunwoo is staring right into Changmin’s eyes before he looks down slightly, and inhales a deep breath while pressing his lips together. “Changmin–” The words gets stuck on his tongue tip, he gulps hard.

Why is it so hard?

He already knows it wouldn’t be so easy, so he prepared himself for days, but why is it the hardest when the day comes?

He takes another deep breath, feeling his heartbeats speeding up slowly. “Let’s end it here.”

Changmin’s eyebrows raised more, then he puffs in his flustered tone few seconds later. “Why are you being like this is your last day here?” He chuckles for real. “Sure. You can still come here anytime, though.”

Sunwoo bites his lip slightly and stares back at Changmin’s eyes. He can see a clueless Changmin through the eyes, and it attacks him right on his heart. He can’t pretend for longer anymore as it would only add pain in the other’s heart and make everything harder later.

He shakes his head. “No, I mean–“ He sighs heavily, looking away as he doesn’t dare to say it while sharing an eye contact. “I mean, our relationship.” he continues, barely could be heard. “I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I can stay for longer and continue it.”

For a long time, no one is talking and they just let the silence surrounding them. Sunwoo isn’t looking at Changmin, but he can feel the other isn’t smiling anymore. The way he doesn’t know how would Changmin respond to it frightens him a lot.

“Why?” Changmin asks. “Please, say it while looking at me, so I can believe whatever the reason is.”

By it, Sunwoo looks back at Changmin. His gut is right. Changmin isn’t smiling anymore and is glaring at him with his cold gaze, there’s no life Sunwoo could find there. He feels so distant from Changmin because the latter seems resentful. He struggles to gulp his tension down. “I don’t think we would work it.”

“And, why is it? Why wouldn’t we?”

Sunwoo’s breath hitched for a second. He has expected that question, yet his nerve gets shocked anyways. “Changmin, I–“ _Shit_. How would he explain it on point yet implicitly? His eyes darts fast as he sorts his words in his mind quickly.

He blinks few times and takes a deep breath. “Please, don’t get me wrong. You are the warmest and kindest person I’ve ever met, I _really_ mean it. You comfort me a lot, and I’m so thankful of it. But–“ He licks his dry lips. “But, I think I mistook my feelings for you. No, I mean, I _mistook_ it for real. We can still continue as friends. I think it’s better that way.”

Changmin doesn’t reply anything and just keeps his fixated sharp glare on Sunwoo’s eyes. There’s no change on his expression, either. Sunwoo can’t read his mind no matter how hard he tries to. He can feel the air around them heating up.

“You think so?” After Sunwoo nods a little – more like a twitch, Changmin puffs quietly, barely laughing at himself. “I feel so betrayed, really.”

“I’m so sorry, Changmin..”

“Is it because of Youngjae?”

“I– Wait, what?” Sunwoo’s eyes gaped and blinked several times in panic. “H-How do you know Youngjae?” he asks quickly while struggling to not stutter in every words.

Changmin laughs in a low sarcastic tone, looking away. “So, that’s right.” he mutters.

 _Shit_. Why did it has to slip over his mouth so easy? Sunwoo gulps nervously. Now, he is on a dead end and he can’t run away and escape. “How do you know him?” he repeats.

Changmin looks back at Sunwoo with his raised eyebrows. “Is it important?”

He clicks his tongue loud as Sunwoo looks at him with his serious gaze. “I once passed by him, but I smelled your exact scent from him. After I knew his name through my friend, I found out he is your pack member.” He laughs. “I never thought my karma would be this fast.” he murmurs under his breath.

Sunwoo is silenced off, remembering backwards. Right, he never told Changmin about his pack, because the other never told him about his as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was about to, but I thought it’s okay and I should understand you.”

“You still need to tell me.”

Changmin’s eyebrows lifted up. “Whoah, unbelievable.” His lip tip raised a bit. “If I did so, then what?” He shakes his head slowly. “What a traitor. If you saw me as your one only, you should’ve known the bounds, right?”

Before Sunwoo could say anything, Changmin pushes him out of his dorm whilst Sunwoo chants Changmin’s name and apologies, and struggles to stay still. He fails to do so as the other pushes him so hard and fast his power is defeated easily.

“Okay, let’s break up!” Changmin stresses with his high cold tone, shutting the door aggressively, barely slamming it.

“Changmin!” Too late, the door has closed. Sunwoo is late, and he couldn’t just come back in although he knows the pin, because he doesn’t have any rights now as they are exs now.

He shouts a loud hiss, then looks up and shuts his eyes off. “Shit!”

If only they could break up in a nice way, Sunwoo wouldn’t be worrying of how he would likely lost Changmin for real. But, clearly, it didn’t settled up nicely. He already knew it would go that way since first, but to expect Changmin knew about Youngjae already? No, he never did.

It shouldn’t have go that way. Changmin shouldn’t have know it even before they break up.

After his last class ends, Sunwoo goes to the dance club studio with his fastest and widest steps, kind of rudely ignoring everyone’s greetings. He knows Changmin would be there to teach the dancers, and he needs to get there before the dancers come.

The moment Sunwoo pushes the door, he is welcomed by a song playing and the familiar scent. Changmin is here, standing near the speaker and looking at his phone, probably texting someone. He freezes for a second before turning his head toward the door, then he glares at Sunwoo with his frowned face before looking away. Doesn’t want to face Sunwoo, he turns his body around.

Cautiously, Sunwoo walks in, towards the edge where Changmin is, then stops with some gaps away from Changmin. He lets the song echoing the whole room without being interrupted by another sound for a while, gazing at Changmin’s back. Even though their gap isn’t far enough, Changmin seems so distant from him that he couldn’t reach him out. It scares him a lot how fast their dynamics change just in a night.

Sunwoo gulps hard, is about to approach Changmin, but he can’t bring himself to because of the hesitancy which fills his nerves. “Changmin,” he calls out in tiny. “we haven’t talk properly.”

“Do we need to?”

“Of course?” Sunwoo sighs. “Please, we can’t break up just like that.”

Sunwoo hears a loud annoyed sigh from Changmin as the latter twitches his head aside, looks so frustrated. Sunwoo forces a smile after Changmin faces him, though the other doesn’t smile at all and glares at him sharply.

“Do you think you deserve it?” Changmin tsks. “I was trying to believe you since you said to not feel insecure, but you betrayed me since first.” He laughs in his low sarcastic tone. “I shouldn’t have accept you.” he states low with his gritted tooth.

Sunwoo furrows his eyebrows. “I wasn’t using you! I mistook it, and it was pure my fault. No one is involved, Changmin.”

“You’re still a traitor for breaking my trust on you.”

It leaves Sunwoo speechless. He can grasp the pain on Changmin’s voice and eyes, and he feels his heart being attacked so bad. He lets a deep breath out which he doesn’t register holding on. “I’m sorry..” he mumbles. “What should I do to get that trust back again?”

He acknowledges very well he is asking a stupid rethorical question. Clearly he wouldn’t ever get that back again. Still, he hopes there’s one, even if he needs to sacrifice something big. But, Changmin remains silent, refusing to answer anything, even an assertive _nothing_. The silent Changmin is the scariest one, and it gives Sunwoo no hope at all.

They hear the door opening and people entering while talking, then they turn their head. Some of the dancers are finally here, a luck for Changmin but a misfortune for Sunwoo. Sunwoo tsks unintentionally, cursing silently.

The dancers pause their talk when they notice Sunwoo. “Oh, hi, Sunwoo!” Sunwoo just replies with a tiny smile, and they immediately figures out the awkwardness in the studio. They force a smile, feeling bad at the situation.

“They’re here. If you don’t have more to say, please go away.”

Sunwoo turns his head forward. Changmin isn’t facing him again and is walking to the speaker. “You want to end it, right? Then, there you go. Let’s just end it. Properly or not, it shouldn’t be the matter. And, sorry, but I don’t think I can trust you anymore, so just don’t do anything.” he continues in his low voice, enough to be heard by Sunwoo but the dancers, without looking at Sunwoo, replaying the music. Then, he turns his body facing the dancers. “Okay, guys! Let’s warm up while waiting for others!”

Sunwoo looks down, shuts his eyes off, and inhales a deep breath. There’s nothing he can do now, no matter how hard he tries. Changmin couldn’t care less about it and treats him as if he is an enemy already. Everything is already over, and unfortunately he loses the other.

Sunwoo raises his head and opens his eyes, shrugging with a slight miserable smile. “Okay, if that’s what you want. Thank you for those times, I sincerely mean it.” He walks away toward the door, then stops in front of the others. “Do well, and don’t make him angry, please.”

“O-oh, okay.” A dancer smiles gawkily. “You won’t be here for longer?”

Sunwoo shakes his head. “I gotta go.” He goes out of the studio, then leans his back to the wall after he’s far enough.

His mind goes to another space though he is still aware of his surroundings, thinking thoroughly his decision while biting his lip. Well, Changmin agreed with him to break up, he shouldn’t regret it, right? Besides, he couldn’t do anything as time wouldn’t return even though he regrets it so bad. The only thing he could do to keep up is fight for Youngjae and fix their bond.

Thus, Sunwoo makes up his mind and goes to the baseball field. But, no one is there when he arrives there. He supposes the team doesn’t have a schedule. The only place remaining in his mind is the basketball field, so he goes there, hoping Youngjae is there for real.

Guess the universe is on his side, because he finally meets Youngjae at the basketball field, although he isn’t alone as Juyeon is there as well. They are playing basketball together.

Youngjae turns his head right away after Sunwoo enters the field, whereas Juyeon does after shooting the ball to the rim. “Oh, Sunwoo? What brings y– Oop!” Youngjae barely falls backwards when Sunwoo bumps himself onto him to a tight hug. Luckily, Sunwoo quickly holds Youngjae’s back into his firm hands.

“I miss you.” Sunwoo murmurs right into Youngjae’s ear, sinking his head more as he tightens the hug.

Youngjae’s eyes blinked few times, is flustered at Sunwoo’s sudden act. So many questions come in his mind, wondering what happened to Sunwoo and why does he suddenly act like this when they still have a deal to be settled. But, he brushes the thoughts away because he doesn’t want to burden himself, not now when he finally gets the warmth of Sunwoo. A relieved smile grew up on his face. He brings his hands to hug Sunwoo back, placing his chin comfortably onto the other’s shoulder. “I miss you too.”

For a minute, they stay like this as no one wants to release the hug, sharing the warmth together, just until they hear a tiny cough. Youngjae withdraws himself instantly and looks at Juyeon with a small grin. “Sorry.” His ears become pinkish before shifting back to its original color few seconds later.

“I’ll give you a space, I’ll go.” Juyeon smiles a little before leaving them alone.

That moment, Youngjae knows Sunwoo has something to talk about, so he doesn’t run away to chase Juyeon, neither speak up first. Instead, he looks down at his shoes and plays with his fingers.

“Hey,” Sunwoo clears his throat. “let’s sit?”

Youngjae glances at the bench, then walks there right away without opening his mouth.

“Youngjae,” Sunwoo calls out to gets Youngjae’s attention on him though he already gives him after sitting next to Youngjae, shifting himself facing the other. He pauses for a moment, pressing his lips inside as he tries to sort his words. “I’m sorry for yelling at you that night. It was out of my consciousness. I was just annoyed at everything. Wait, why do I make any excuse?” He sighs quietly, then he pulls Youngjae’s hands and interlaces their fingers gently, looking straightways his eyes. “I’m really sorry. You’re still my pack, if you want to stay. Though, I would like it if you stay.”

The sincerity, Youngjae can feel it through Sunwoo’s tone and eyes, as well as their intertwining fingers in which Sunwoo is holding firmly yet gently. Those attitudes are more than enough to prove how serious Sunwoo is. The thoughts earns a relieved soft smile on Youngjae’s face. He rubs Sunwoo’s fingers in a tender way. “I’m staying, Sunwoo.”

By instinct, Sunwoo smiles back, also rubbing Youngjae’s fingers as he murmurs a silent _thank you_. “Were you hurted?”

“Does it need to be answered?” Youngjae hisses, his nose scrunched a bit. “Of course, stupid!” He giggles, causing Sunwoo to giggle as well. “It’s okay, you’re forgiven since I can get your sincerity. Just please let it be the last time.”

Without any doubt, Sunwoo nods assertively. “Okay, I promise, _really_!”

Even though they are finally getting back, Youngjae isn’t sure enough, like there is something missing between them. He can’t explain what is it yet because the questions in his mind aren’t answered yet. He is glad Sunwoo apologizes to him in a proper and direct way. But, there must be something that brings him to, especially after more than a week. On top of that, he is curious with what happened between Sunwoo and Hyunjae. It’s already almost two weeks and he still doesn’t know anything about that even a little piece. Surely they had a fight debating about him, so he has a right to know.

Youngjae hums, a bit hesitant. “How is Hyunjae?” he asks carefully. “May I know what happened between you?”

Sunwoo doesn’t answer it right away, playing with their fingers instead whilst remaining his gaze on Youngjae’s eyes. “He was mad at me for not being able to be there for you.” He giggles, trying to ease the air. “But, we’ve settled it up, don’t worry.”

“Was it because of me? Is that why you were so annoyed?”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows lifted, a bit surprised at the unexpected-but-expected questions. “No for the first one, and yes for the last one.” He leans forwards a bit and pulls Youngjae closer so the other would just look at him. “It was all my fault. You don’t have any mistake. Don’t feel guilty, okay? The most important thing is we’re still a pack, isn’t it?”

“Well, you’re right. I’m just checking if you really feel guilty.” Youngjae sticks his tongue out, then laughs joyfully when Sunwoo glares at him with his widened eyes. He dodges at the exact time Sunwoo is about to throw a punch at him.

There are still many questions in Youngjae’s mind, but he holds back to not ask and saves those for later instead, assuming now isn’t the right time.

“I haven’t meet him yet, he’s avoiding me, I guess. What should I do?”

“Want me to help you?” Youngjae just nods as the answer. Sunwoo hums and knits his eyebrows, looking at a random point as he thinks thoroughly. “Let’s have a dinner at his dorm, then! It’s been a while.”

Sunwoo comes in first, followed by Youngjae behind him, peeking inside to check if Hyunjae is here after taking his shoes off. Seeing Hyunjae focusing on his laptop with his frowned face and messy curly hair, Sunwoo pulls his lips tips up to create a tiny smile. He turns his head at Youngjae and tips aside. “Go ahead! It’s okay.” Then, without waiting for the response, he begins plating the dinner.

“Thanks, Sunwoo.” Sunwoo tilts his head a bit to find Hyunjae looking at him. “I thought you didn’t take it seriously.”

Sunwoo just laughs it off. He walks in with fried chickens and colas, then sits beside Youngjae. “I promised.”

Youngjae who doesn’t know anything knits his eyebrows. “You took it seriously? What do you mean? What promise do you have?”

Hyunjae and Sunwoo share a look for few seconds, sharing their minds before giggling softly. Hyunjae gets down while twitching his shoulders. “He apologized.” He grabs a fried chicken, then tips his head slightly which looks more like a quick tilt. “And for the return, I want this.”

Sunwoo can read Youngjae’s mind. The latter still has many unanswered questions he keeps in himself. Sunwoo knows his bestfriend very well, because he can guess the questions. It’s reasonable and he wouldn’t deny how odd they get back together after weeks stumbling. He can still sense the fire as well as the tension from Hyunjae, though, so obviously they are just faking their feelings in front of Youngjae. They couldn’t show it honestly, not yet, especially for Sunwoo, he still needs to ensure his guts.

“I’ve said previously, I’ve settled everything up with him, Youngjae.” He squeezes Youngjae’s hand to provide him comfort. He withdraws his hand and takes a fried chicken with a faint relieved smile after Youngjae responds with a hum and a smile.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you lately. I was stressed, but that wasn’t because of you.” Hyunjae lifts his arm passing by Sunwoo, but then stops on its way for a second before pulling back. He clears his throat quietly. “We’re fine now. No more clash.”

Now that they know each other’s feelings, it feels weird for them to act just as usual, specifically toward Youngjae. They should be considerate of their gestures so there wouldn’t be explosion(s) anymore. Sunwoo lets a sigh out quietly without realizing it. It’s weird, but he doesn’t know if he should be thankful or regretful.

“No problem. I’m glad we’re being together again now.”

“I broke up.” Sunwoo says abruptly after unusual, uncomfortable silence for long time, longer than they think.

Youngjae freezes for a moment as he processes the short sentence with only three words consisting, then he gawks kind of dramatically at Sunwoo. “W-what? Why? When? How?”

Sunwoo gasps and flinched subtly, but then he giggles. “Chill, chill!”

Youngjae shuts his mouth off immediately, his eyes dart at Hyunjae to see his reaction. The latter doesn’t seem bother it and stays focusing on eating instead. His eyebrows furrowed at it, wondering if he already knew it.

“I just don’t think our relationship would work out.”

“Why?”

Sunwoo hums, then shrugs. “Personal matter. Sorry, but I can’t tell you right now.” He giggles.

Youngjae rolls his eyes, is annoyed by how fast Sunwoo comes back to his annoying yet friendly self. He bites his fried chicken after muttering “Whatever.”

“Good thing. Take and keep my words in your mind! You did well.” Hyunjae pats Sunwoo’s head lightly before moving his hand down to the nape to squeeze it.

It provides Sunwoo more confidence. Of course it’s a lie if he isn’t overthinking his decision, yet he knows he couldn’t get back together with Changmin. It’s so clear his ex is hurted and feels so betrayed. The only option he could work onto is to do his best for Youngjae. He smiles and whispers a _thank you_ at Hyunjae. Ignoring the clueless and curious look of Youngjae, he eats his meals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a bit hard:(

**Author's Note:**

> let me know your thoughts uwu
> 
> find me on twt and cc


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